#8 +(167)- [X]

<DigDug> i think i'm gonna walk to the movie theater and see dinosaur...
<kimy-> and be surrounded by like 10 year old girls?
<Amanda_> He said Dinosaur, not N'Sync.

#10 +(-180)- [X]

<Mishmashi> yesterday i got bisexual services

#12 +(542)- [X]

<Moot> ok, here's what we do
<Moot> we break into AOL HQ
<Moot> and instead of the AOL setup utility, we put metallica mp3s on all of the startup cds

#14 +(342)- [X]

<watashi-x> Oh my God! Are you attemping to DoS me?
<Polymer> WTF are you talking about dumb ass
<Polymer> I can't get into your MS-DOS

#16 +(849)- [X]

<wecell> new apples look fairly interesting, but i'd hate to buy into something that is going to CRASH all the time.
<DigDug> wecell : What are you using right now?
<wecell> i've always used windows machines.

#18 +(808)- [X]

<TOZTWO> I was kinda shy, and still am, so right after sex, I started getting dressed before she could turn on the lights......
<TOZTWO> Well, she turns the light on, and I have my clothes on already, and she can't find her undies.......
<TOZTWO> But she finds my undies next to the bed.
<TOZTWO> Guess whose undies I'm wearing?

#20 +(295)- [X]

<Dr_DOS> My fish get scared of pizza boxes.
<Dr_DOS> They think they're giant borg ships or smth
<repp0r> Don't put an anchovie pizza near your fish.

#22 +(231)- [X]

<`Xenocide> Bolstered by the state of Kansas' recent measure removing the requirement for the teaching of evolution in public schools, yesterday afternoon the Mississippi legislature passed a bill eliminating fractions and decimal points from the mathematics curriculum of all public secondary schools in the state.

#24 +(2430)- [X]

<ckx> women ask for it
<ckx> they act all old and mature
<ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass
<ckx> and they get all bitchy
<ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"

#26 +(-14)- [X]

<AlmtyBob> 401k's are for homos who fucking intend to live until 65

#28 +(189)- [X]

<Deth[EHC]> Chromium: stop masturbating imma be home any minute :P
*** Deth[EHC] has quit IRC (Leaving)
<reptile-> Actually, that's a secret code for Chromium to get ready for the ass reaming of his life.

#31 +(398)- [X]

<EM[mMF]> man
<EM[mMF]> unix manuals would be so much cooler
<EM[mMF]> if they had porn in them
<EM[mMF]> like "Basics of the Bash Shell"
<EM[mMF]> <LESBIAN PORN>
<EM[mMF]> i'd read that shit

#33 +(422)- [X]

[17:05] *** D1 sets mode: +o C-Rock
<D1> oh wait, I was trying to kick you.

#36 +(180)- [X]

<McMoo> wouldn't it be great if someone made a program where we could connect to a server and chat with each other in channels we create?

#38 +(832)- [X]

<Relevant> get oral_sex_training_video.mpg
<Relevant> Oops wrong window.

#40 +(-53)- [X]

<WiLD_> my lele is at attention

#43 +(723)- [X]

<Dr_DOS> Tupac Shakur sounds like a Protoss name.

#45 +(-23)- [X]

<C-Rock> man id give a blowjob to be on Pen's quotes page.
<C-Rock> i might even swallow.

#47 +(335)- [X]

* EtherMan slashes MadHatter with the jagged edge of a PS2 polygon

#49 +(257)- [X]

<TheFlux> give me a chick with lips the size of that guy from aerosmith or something
<scarf> why dont you just get the guy from aerosmith

#51 +(147)- [X]

<UncleJed> the government should split up efnet
<UncleJed> not that efnet doesn't split enough as it is

#54 +(82)- [X]

<ACDCC> Hey, does anyone know when Dance Dance Revolution comes out on GBC?

#56 +(147)- [X]

<Wind-X> and penis butter and jelly make a good sandwich

#58 +(183)- [X]

<disconect> Tekken and sex both give my hand a cramp if I do it for too long, though...

#61 +(186)- [X]

<Guilty> Really, celerons make me laugh
<Guilty> The white trash chip

#64 +(123)- [X]

<Ash> Win2k! ^_^
*** Ash Quit (Read error: 73 (Connection reset by peer))

#66 +(-49)- [X]

<noppa> weed: (dont inhale and you will become the next president!!!!!)

#68 +(163)- [X]

<HomerJ> Microsoft could shit in a box, adn most people would buy it

#70 +(161)- [X]

* XS slaps the crap out of someone with a larger than ordinary, non-standard, frames compatible, Microsoft trout.

#72 +(1576)- [X]

<reptile-> The first time hypr opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside he yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"
<hypr> wtf are donut seeds

#74 +(148)- [X]

<JCamel> heh, no, because i jacked off into his mom's black bra, and she blamed it on him

#76 +(271)- [X]

<MTrez> ok, about 1 million of my potential children just got introduced to some downy tissue, so im gonna sleep now, im tired

#78 +(-15)- [X]

<AlmtyBob> I think they should make 'Powerpuff Girls: 2012', a live action movie, where the powerpuff girls are played by mad hot chicks
<AlmtyBob> teenage chicks

#80 +(481)- [X]

<ebim> toz.. do her doggie style and have a laptop on her back so you can talk to us

#82 +(-8)- [X]

<Guilty> Check out who used to own my new IP's
<Guilty> ArabIRC Network

#84 +(115)- [X]

<matt> too bad her head looks like an ass
<scv> thats makes blowjobs better, matt

#86 +(-690)- [X]

<EM> heh i wonder if there will be any black people in my classes
<EM> like i couldnt imagine black ppl being in cisco routing!! because black people just jack cars!!!

#88 +(108)- [X]

<Infe> but if i ever hit a deer with my car i'll be damned if i don't try to finish it off, i'll need the food after all my money is fixing the car#@$#@

#90 +(94)- [X]

<matt`> It is illegal to use UNIX in conjunction with a member of the opposite sex. This could prevent copulation-2.1.3-20.i386.tar.gz from compiling correctly.

#92 +(269)- [X]

<Xavier> if it has 'teen' in the channel name, the collective iq of the group can automatically be assumed to be a negative value

#94 +(196)- [X]

<iMike-> call tech support and be like yeah my friend stole windows 2000 from officemax and he burned it for me
<iMike-> and it's not working properly

#96 +(309)- [X]

<VIVI> Xbox already has the following games:
<VIVI> Microsoft Word
<VIVI> Microsoft Excel
<VIVI> Solitaire

#98 +(1190)- [X]

<ikkenai> i don't have hard drives. i just keep 30 chinese teenagers in my basement and force them to memorize numbers

#101 +(-9)- [X]

<Fred> isnt bitchx mirc?

#103 +(231)- [X]

<matt`> it makes you get a horrible disease
<matt`> called "babies"

#106 +(-1)- [X]

<Acero> dude we could get a ounce of chronic just for jerking off into a cup!

#109 +(170)- [X]

<Jigsaw> a DVD and a CD are the same thing when they're blank aren't they?
<Jarvik8> cds are made of pikachu skins

#111 +(231)- [X]

<jestuh> i was trying to go the speed limit so i didn't get a ticket but a cop got me in a school zone
<DigDug> How much?
<jestuh> i'm talking about need for speed not real life

#114 +(71)- [X]

<Dreamlyre> wife, hooker...its about the same...you gotta pay for it

#116 +(-44)- [X]

<Daze> did you bind and unbind the strings correctly
<DigDug> Yes.
<DigDug> unbind msg - hello *msg:hello
<DigDug> bind msg - myword *msg:d1gdug

#118 +(21)- [X]

<voln> I am going to build the first car that has built-in IRC

#120 +(204)- [X]

<DigDug> warez > sex
<kisama> it is true.
<kisama> i'd rather watch a progress bar than have sex.

#122 +(-17)- [X]

<bocz> cept i dont see how they can test your smartness with HISTORY

#125 +(-1)- [X]

<gloone> reptile is into older women.. and he gets his pics in #100%preteensexpix

#127 +(37)- [X]

<MadHatter> I've been using mirc exclusively for like 6-7 years or whatever
<MadHatter> I could get mIRC certified by now

#129 +(574)- [X]

<cndz> what would jesus do>
<Josh> probably get crucified and die

#131 +(-35)- [X]

<hypr> as im on no your so inslurted me

#133 +(209)- [X]

<Bobby20> I had this really weird dream once that I dropped my penis in the shower and I couldn't get it to go back on

#135 +(456)- [X]

<apoptygma> we have a jedi council at our fucking school
<apoptygma> how gay is that?!?
<apoptygma> i actually had a kid try that wavy hand thing on me

#137 +(-42)- [X]

<BlackDeth> dont you do japanese stuff to me, homo.

#139 +(21)- [X]

<SWM> in my day the size of the average male penis was 4"

#141 +(333)- [X]

<ILLogik> i was having cybersex with this chick but she wouldn't go all the way so i had to rape her

#143 +(161)- [X]

<`BuM> why is it that, no matter how much you pee into the toilet it never fills up?

#145 +(92)- [X]

<skunk> oooohhh i'll be out in a second dad 8=w=D 8w==D 8=w=D 8==wD ~ ~ ~ ahh

#147 +(16)- [X]

<gloone> and they go "hey, you can have fun without chicks you know.."
<gloone> i don't wanna get drunk if there's no chicks around..

#149 +(77)- [X]

*** Quits: X-7 (irc.canadian-chicks-kick-ass.ca irc.usa-chicks-are-fat.com)

#155 +(46)- [X]

<Eggo> invent a new kind of tolet paper, reusible or edible

#158 +(18)- [X]

I have gone to look for myself, if I should return, before I get back, keep me here. - unknown

#170 +(418)- [X]

[@smcn] like #bearcave. you wouldn't expect it to be a gay channel. YOU WOULD EXPECT IT TO BE A CHANNEL ABOUT BEARS WOULDN'T YOU

#172 +(-6)- [X]

[@kode54] /quote:96 <smcn> uNF = universal noise of fucking
[@kode54] one of my few smcn quotes (I need more!)
[@smcn] ok i will say something funny
[@smcn] i'm having trouble breathing
[@smcn] and my dick is on fire
[@smcn] is this normal?

#175 +(119)- [X]

<Amanda_> Alright
<Amanda_> Are multiple people paying attention?
<Amanda_> Here's what I freaking want for Christmas
<Amanda_> Someone find me a friend
<Amanda_> A FEMALE FRIEND WHO IS NOT A DUMBASS

#178 +(91)- [X]

<homerj> I'm saying that as a friend, not as a linux zealot

#180 +(5)- [X]

<goh2> my parents are budgeting me
<goh2> 400$ a month for a computer
<goh2> for the next 3 months
<goh2> i spent 100$ on weed

#182 +(93)- [X]

<Infe5> A PS2 costs ?40,000, a PSOne costs ?15,000, and a Hello Kitty DC costs ?28,800. :(
<EtherMan> how much is that in real money

#184 +(-15)- [X]

<|Chris> you gotta jump on it coke
<|Chris> quick*

#186 +(29)- [X]

<WhiteLife> i just looked at the ingredients to herbal ecstasy
<WhiteLife> ITS THE SAME THING AS MY SECRET FORMULA :(

#188 +(183)- [X]

<Acero> i'm going to try natural penis enlargement ok?
<Acero> if it works i'll let you guys know and we can be the channel with the biggest penises on efnet
<WwMrTwW> penis pump!? weights? implants!?
<Acero> it's some excercise you do with your hand

#191 +(28)- [X]

<brah-ca> i get all the chix.. just tell em im an efnet oper

#193 +(-4)- [X]

<screechon> call him up
<screechon> and tell him calmly to give you your money
<screechon> and if not
<screechon> take it to judge judy

#195 +(261)- [X]

<bash_> don't touch me there
<bash_> whoops, wrong window

#197 +(135)- [X]

*** topic in #ramen is 'When your cablemodems combine, I am, Captain Pirate! :'

#200 +(-39)- [X]

<bocz> ok dood, whatever
<bocz> go sip your mocca and read the wallstreet journal

#202 +(103)- [X]

<DKMA> In seventh grade I was forced to take the SAT as this test thing,, long ago. I scored higher than the state average
<DKMA> I live in Texas though,, so it doesn't say much =)
<X15> there are ppl in texas?

#204 +(114)- [X]

(|Chris) i felt boobies tonight!
(McMoo) did they belong to a womang?

#216 +(-33)- [X]

[iMike] zach if you got a bike we could ride up to west manchester
[iMike] get a kickass one

#218 +(59)- [X]

<CrazyDe> man, back when i was in my sexual prime..
<CrazyDe> in the 7th grade...

#224 +(181)- [X]

[deft-:deft@98A9C369.ipt.aol.com] at least i don't go on aol

#226 +(48)- [X]

<DigDug> and i *don't* need an absolute nerd like me. THAT's when i will shrivel up and die, because i will never leave the house then.
<Guilty> Yeah pen and his wife would just compete for first post on slashdot
<Guilty> It would never end

#228 +(231)- [X]

<Guilty> Nov 27 23:45:02 Box1 MormonGuard[20721]: Mormons be tryin' to break into y0 system!
<Guilty> Thank god for you MormonGuard

#230 +(219)- [X]

<kisama> i'll have dsl too, by this week, brett
<kisama> cockface is hooking me up
<kisama> :)
<Guilty|> Thats really nice of your mom to do

#235 +(391)- [X]

<noss> wank in a thunder storm, it will make you feel like Thor

#238 +(56)- [X]

[thinkmad] does anyone know a good car audio site
(McMoo) www.40plus50plus.com
[thinkmad] you fucking bastard moo
[kisama] mcmoo: i have member logins to that site

#241 +(309)- [X]

<SWM> if the average penis is 6"
<SWM> and the average pussy is 8" deep that means there''s about 2 miles of unused pussy in like New York

#243 +(145)- [X]

<!Lun_e> ill just sit here and eat my Kice Rispy Paralellogram.

#246 +(67)- [X]

e l i t e m r p: first type this
CD WINDOWSCOMMAND
n e r d b 5: i dont have a cd in the cdrom

#250 +(-50)- [X]

n e r d b 5: wait a minute. 'my' b-days on 31 may... lol i was thinking aboiut my uncle hehe
e l i t e m r p: umm how could you confuse your own bday with your uncle?
n e r d b 5: their so close together hehe

#257 +(29)- [X]

<repp0r> Dude, pot first, then porn.
<repp0r> Trust me. It's so much better. :D
<lele> dude i'm doing before AND after

#259 +(83)- [X]

<reptile-> My hands are soft and girly-like.
<reptile-> Masturbating is so much better for me!
<Taurclave> You dream of handjobs
<DigDug> reptile- pretends that the hands belong to a girl
<Taurclave> He probably has painted nails on his favorite hand

#261 +(286)- [X]

<EFX>I hate it when the cats stare at me when I go into the livingroom to jackoff to pornos :(

#265 +(81)- [X]

<hypr> i rember in kindergarden the teach took me upsidedown by my ankles and swung me around cause i wasent eating my pees..
<hypr> fucking bitch

#269 +(103)- [X]

n e r d b 5: i smell a burning smell
n e r d b 5: maybe its my pc
n e r d b 5: oh wait, ewww, its the cat pooping

#276 +(92)- [X]

<papasui> i bought a box of crab ragoons
<papasui> and i looked to see how many calories are in each one
<papasui> and its freaking 400 and 250 fat calories
<Marcus-> "WARNING: May cause manboobs!"

#278 +(23)- [X]

*** Joins: SLiPMaTT` (slippy@I.get.my.STDs.from.the.girls.at.geishagarden.com)

#281 +(29)- [X]

*** Joins: root (kode54@excellent.I.found.yourdads.cc)

#283 +(165)- [X]

<GreenJelly> omg this lisa chick and me are gonna get married
<GreenJelly> her turnoffs are Arrogant Guys, S&M, and Big Dicks
<GreenJelly> IM SO IN

#285 +(177)- [X]

<BlackDeth> that was the night those gay dudes were hittin on me
<BlackDeth> and the one offered me money to go sex0r him
<BlackDeth> they prolly saw i was wrecked
<BlackDeth> and thought they could take advantage
<BlackDeth> boglins own
<ikkenai> so how much did he pay you
<BlackDeth> he didnt
<BlackDeth> he just offered
<ikkenai> oh
<ikkenai> so you did it for free

#287 +(130)- [X]

<wild-> so a guy goes to the drugstore, he says 'i need some condoms for my 11 year old daughter' druggist says 'your daughters sexually active at age 11?' he says 'nah she just lies there like her mother'

#289 +(70)- [X]

<rouge> you vegetarian?
<AlmtyBob> yah
<rouge> i'm sorry. :/

#291 +(441)- [X]

<ckx> i've got nothing against homos
<ckx> as long as they don't fuck me or touch me
<ckx> they're alright
<gb> what if they cum on you
<ckx> that's a grey area

#293 +(4)- [X]

*** Joins: corra (co@ACA56AC2.ipt.aol.com)
<corra> FUKR
<corra> I KIK UR AZZ
<corra> ....
<corra> i ain kiddin
*** Parts: corra (co@ACA56AC2.ipt.aol.com)

#295 +(164)- [X]

<ikkenai> What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant.
<TheFlux> not an oil based one
<TheFlux> it may catch fire

#298 +(117)- [X]

<DigDug> how about i make a special back door, just for you :-)
<Amanda_> Oh, that'll work just as well
<McMoo> pen just invited you to have ass sex with him

#302 +(43)- [X]

<Spidey> i don't mail shit anyway
<DooD> yeah fuck mailing stuff, i DCC it

#305 +(102)- [X]

[02:16:02] <iln> would you fuck a 15 year old.
[02:16:12] <AlmtyBob> the question is
[02:16:16] <AlmtyBob> would a 15 year old fuck me?

#307 +(16)- [X]

<NtG> I have my gynecologist on speed dial

#310 +(-33)- [X]

<Cold2> hey do you have dragonball xxx pics?

#312 +(432)- [X]

<Tux> gimme a P, gimme an A, gimme a N, gimme an I, gimme a T, gimme an E, gimme an S! Whats that spell?
<Tux> PANTIES!
<Tux> er
<Tux> not really
<Tux> but it was close!

#314 +(43)- [X]

<WhiteAWAY> someone told me trance music makes you sterile

#316 +(-370)- [X]

<DumbBitch> AND
<DumbBitch> wtf am i not quoted on the quotes?
<DumbBitch> i have to be one of the most funniest ppl in this channel :/

#318 +(106)- [X]

<mooner> some guy is having sex in the cubicle next to mine.

#321 +(37)- [X]

<tch0rt> i dunno, at this point i know i cant go with balls any bigger
<tch0rt> the balls i have now are plenty big for my mouth

#324 +(31)- [X]

<anihil8r> hmm.. when you were in school did they ever say that you were special?

#326 +(159)- [X]

[CaptHowdy] [~] $ touch /dev/genitalia
[CaptHowdy] touch: /dev/genitalia: Permission denied

#328 +(68)- [X]

<Helpful-> [Akashra] I have a dream: 2199023255552 bytes free.

#332 +(-1)- [X]

<Ash> I pay rent by playing the 'bottom' in sexual acts centering mostly around the anus.
<Ash> You've solved the mystery!

#334 +(53)- [X]

<Dert> i would much rather have a big thick detailed atlas of mars than a pair of breasts for one evening

#336 +(40)- [X]

<nullgod> I'm not quite sure who slack is for, it's harder then REdHat, so it's not for newbies, it's less secure then FreeBSD so it's not for experts, and it's not pretty so it's not for desktops.
<DigDug> slack is for linux zealots :-D

#338 +(-25)- [X]

<starrrr> muhaha i did steal head server of Internet. If push "power" button the hole net will be shutdown. i hate all you Quake Playas!! !! !! uu!! And If i push reset button the whole internet going to DIE!!

#341 +(333)- [X]

<Felon> What is a leet? Is that a type of ferret?

#343 +(33)- [X]

(odd42) hey guys: i'm d/l-ing a huge file on a 56k modem but i have an Athlon and GeForce, so do you think i could play q3 at the same time?

#345 +(348)- [X]

(@X2-down) this is mark eg, he hugged me and creamed in my ear
(@X2-down) er screamed

#347 +(44)- [X]

(@bart`) bwhahhahahahahah. i think they should send that little girl from the pepsi commercials to cuba too

#349 +(192)- [X]

<ping> oh, im ready for the upcoming school year
<End[gone]> i dont think it will be any different
<zxaxox> thats why you have to take a shotgun and MAKE it different.

#351 +(60)- [X]

<Twofish> Someone is mounting me every minute

#355 +(102)- [X]

<Rapture> I wasn't naked! I had a sock on!

#357 +(24)- [X]

<Chris> nah. I did it twice at the weekend and still have both arms.

#360 +(156)- [X]

<sphynx> crushes suck
<sphynx> i hate em
<sphynx> the dilemma, the desperation
<sphynx> the hopes dashed etc
<shirazz> the masturbation
<shirazz> hehehe
<bark> the masturbation is ok.
<Kyoto> hey.. the masturbation is good..

#362 +(63)- [X]

<inof> God used fork() to create Eve.

#364 +(58)- [X]

<Santa> anybody know what solaris calls its kernel?
<SfabN> Santa: look into the root dir and look for the biggest file, or look into /stand
<token> biggest file?
<token> "Huh, my kernel is called ``core''" :-)

#366 +(267)- [X]

<Toazt> "Too few women on the internet?
<Toazt> There are lots of women on the internet,
<Toazt> only most of them are naked and in JPG-format."

#368 +(114)- [X]

<RevNeptho> gethostbyintuition() is still a dream of mine

#370 +(234)- [X]

<Beeth>  Progress (n.):  The process through which the Internet has evolved from smart
<Beeth>  people in front of dumb terminals to dumb people in front of smart terminals.

#372 +(122)- [X]

<Eph> ahhhhhh tits , that`s thing I didn`t see for long now ...ahhhhhh
<honx> eph: how can you be on the internet and not see tits for a long time?

#374 +(65)- [X]

<redslime> "let's take the nutritional balance of oriental food, put it in
batter and deep fry it"
<redslime> "yeah!"
<redslime> i love eggrolls

#376 +(111)- [X]

*** ^o_0^ sets mode: +o ^0_o^

#378 +(72)- [X]

<bludstone> one of my fantasies is to be getting a blowjob while on irc :/

#381 +(167)- [X]

<^0_o^> i'm a girl's dream!
<^0_o^> if only i had a chance to prove myself...
<DooD> a paper bag will give u many chances
<DooD> if they cant see the face, they cant use the mace

#384 +(313)- [X]

<bocz> i think ill be stuck to getting 2 sticks of 128
<bocz> thats 310 mb for a server
<Guilty> Kudos on finding the elusive 54MB DIMM

#387 +(56)- [X]

<deft-> i always type /dick instead of /nick on accident =

#389 +(-40)- [X]

<High`> its ko myabe uoy cuodl noe dya

#391 +(38)- [X]

<Zer0sKewl> Haha, I just nuked someone for my first time, Am I elite now?

#393 +(5)- [X]

<joshieboi> - i thought speed racer was the car

#395 +(-25)- [X]

<Dr_DOS> l33t i got a snickels bal

#397 +(64)- [X]

<Maxim-> these fortune cookies are lame
<Maxim-> mine says "You are going to have some new clothes."

#399 +(11)- [X]

<gloone> america is the only country where people live in trailers.

#401 +(1)- [X]

<Cducharme> My penis has nice settings!
<Dr_DOS> YES
<Dr_DOS> Sidewinner

#403 +(-1)- [X]

<CrazyDe> don't be afraid..
<CrazyDe> its only a dick

#407 +(125)- [X]

<HaXk> The dog cant say no
<HaXk> So it really isnt rape

#409 +(2034)- [X]

<DaZE> at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone... and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop had 4

#411 +(52)- [X]

<Wooben> someone find me archie hentai

#413 +(32)- [X]

<Dr_DOS> i'd go straight into the army if they allowed IRC on weekends.

#415 +(26)- [X]

<gloone> thinking that noone is here since it's saturday
<gloone> so that i can kill him with a screwdriver.
<gloone> or a stapler
<gloone> that's what i have here.

#417 +(180)- [X]

<VicViper> heh darkaeon writes his IP address in bathroom stalls
<VicViper> for a good time - xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx

#419 +(-25)- [X]

<Islandx55> wtf is a-team

#421 +(52)- [X]

<Andrigaar> there's a good rumor to start up again. "Jacking off till it blisters will form calluses and make if bigger in a few months."

#426 +(82)- [X]

<ck10k> is there any site where you can dig up data on someone if you have their social security number?
<lux> hahah
<ck10k> damnit. the information age my ass

#428 +(94)- [X]

<VicViper> NerdSex #73: Make sure you select the option "Always on Top"

#430 +(20)- [X]

<Jarvik7> wonder if they'll have a 'real life' type show, but with people in a rom channel

#432 +(39)- [X]

<VicViper> if i get high speed access i can warez
<VicViper> They need to have ISP's that offer CDR's with signup.

#435 +(77)- [X]

<SYch0> wwf the music vol 4
<sasami> I saw that CD at a store . .
<sasami> It was in the "HICK" section.

#437 +(67)- [X]

<lamont-> spanish kids can speak better english than most kids on aol
<lamont-> when they're fucking three years old!

#439 +(2)- [X]

<Lyre-work> <-- soon to be my perm nick =(

#441 +(90)- [X]

<syrup> i need to leech while i sleep
<syrup> otherwise i don't sleep well

#443 +(78)- [X]

<VicViper> dorm = jail cell with internet
<SYch0> w/ fast internet

#445 +(198)- [X]

<ck2k> i tap her car's bumper
<ck2k> and she has this estimate
<ck2k> 200 bucks
<ck2k> fuck you
<ck2k> for 200 bucks i can hire someone to kill your bitch ass

#447 +(63)- [X]

<SSr2> what's pr0n?

#449 +(228)- [X]

<shady_> if i had 5 comps id put them in a circle and put pics and movies on each one
<shady_> and twist around in my chair jackin off

#451 +(-32)- [X]

<McMoo> my computer doesn't even have a ps/2 port
<RYan-> how do you connect your mouse?

#453 +(23)- [X]

<Cennt-> "how did your grandma die"
<Cennt-> "she saw me masturbating"

#461 +(31)- [X]

<Theseus> get the free like 10 CDs they give you
<Theseus> then write a letter to them signed under your parents name saying you burned all those satan music CDs, and to never send mail to that address again

#463 +(69)- [X]

"The cheek of every American must tingle with shame as he reads the silly,
flat, and dishwatery utterances of the man who has to be pointed out to
intelligent foreigners as the President of the United States."
   The Chicago Times review of After Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

#484 +(88)- [X]

"A lot of people wonder how you know you're in love. Just ask yourself this
one question: "Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person?"
   - Ronnie Shakes

#514 +(41)- [X]

<Lathari> jack your ethernet into my ass and we'll have ourselves a REAL Lan party.

#519 +(375)- [X]

<smcn> one of these days
<smcn> i'm going to hunt down and kill whoever invented emoticons
<smcn> then i'm going to look at him and go >=D

#523 +(90)- [X]

jaylane0910: oh gross
e l i t e  m r p: ?
jaylane0910: my cmoputer science teacher corrupted the word g-string for me
e l i t e  m r p: heh
jaylane0910: she said she was writing her own string lib
jaylane0910: her name is Gioviana or something
jaylane0910: and she caled it GString
jaylane0910: and shes ugly
jaylane0910: and damn

#526 +(163)- [X]

<matt`> <goh`> guilty you spelt speed wrong
<goh`> spelled*
<McMoo> <goh`> YOUR USUALLY SO CAREFUL
<goh`> you're*
<goh`> you guys are assholes

#531 +(140)- [X]

<Fustard> i should take a picture of my penis like orion, and give it away as a present
<w3nis> maybe you shouldnt
<DigDug> yeah, maybe you shouldn't
<Fustard> yeah maybe i shouldnt

#533 +(38)- [X]

<smcn> it's like richard simmons getting laid
<CodeMason> "ok girl, pump it, oh yes, left, right, left, right, in, out, that's the way!"

#538 +(88)- [X]

<MadHatter> what you know about people and the way things work I could comfortably pass through the hole in my penis

#540 +(-5)- [X]

<hypr> i need jewcases or like paper or plastic things to put cds in :.

#543 +(67)- [X]

<MojoBag> [DaemoN_] She kicked my dog, and now i am going to FUCK her.
* freeweed kix Daemon's dog
* DaemoN_ fucks her
<smcn> fucks who? your dog?

#545 +(84)- [X]

<smcn> the only thing we have to ph33r is peer itself

#547 +(4)- [X]

<QuoteBawt> I know very few girls into emulation, even fewer into drinking "beer" and even fewer with an IQ above room temperature
<freeweed> <QuoteBawt> I know very few girls <--- if you wanna say something just say it
<scienide_> wimiins should go back to the kitchen

#549 +(89)- [X]

<DaemoN_> ASHLEY STOP SCRUBBING MY SCHLONG WITH THOSE TREES
<Ashley-> its the only wood you will ever have down there urchin boy

#552 +(16)- [X]

[01:17] <Conan-> a friend of mine asked me if cable was the same as shell?

#555 +(39)- [X]

<CurlyEars> sorry....I am a bit compulsive about spelling an grammar

#557 +(54)- [X]

[23:34] [+xvize] c++ is made in borland

#559 +(15)- [X]

[05:45pm] [+xvize] yea aol's supposed to be harder to trace

#565 +(13)- [X]

<phiber_> where's my boot disk? how can i be a hacker without linux?

#579 +(75)- [X]

[06:26pm] <shmoo> did you know if you deleate stuff you get your giggabytes back?

#591 +(4)- [X]

<gb> I'M BREAKING OUT THE DoS
<gb> THERE GOEZ ED
<gb> BYE BYE
<hypr> DONT DOS ME"
<hypr> FUCKERKGHJIJGEG
<blazemore> hypr: quick, go buy dsl!

#594 +(139)- [X]

<Johnno> my favorite animal is the scapegoat

#599 +(267)- [X]

[16:56] <van|go`eagles> btw
[16:56] <van|go`eagles> your gf sucks at cs
[16:57] <en4cer> lol
[16:57] <en4cer> shes better at other things
[16:57] <Grifter-> like quake?
[16:57] <en4cer> lol

#601 +(7)- [X]

<{ReNeGaDe}>  ok why is no one writin back to me; what do i got no fingers to type with and im just imaginin writin all this?

#609 +(-7)- [X]

n e r d b 5: DUDE
n e r d b 5: shania twain is only 20 years older than me.... i might have a chance one day, since she isnt that much older than me

#612 +(55)- [X]

<Bambz-216> i don't have anything illegal in my house anymore
<Bambz-216> EXCEPT FOR THOSE MEXICANS I BOUGHT!

#615 +(194)- [X]

<splice> wow, irc really loses its luster when you have a girlfriend
<splice> be back much later

#617 +(65)- [X]

<SYch0> where do you specify how many levels of a web page you want to save when you save it? :|
<enar> just use teleport pro and like have it save only .jpgs over so many kb :/
<DigDug> use teleport pro or wget
<SYch0> cuz im saving as a single file
<SYch0> im not saving porn!
<enar> why would you save a webpage then :/

#619 +(65)- [X]

*** zaney was kicked by Ash (I know you're not stupid! Don't think you can fool me!)
*** Ash sets mode: +b *!*zane@*.cyberverse.com
<hypr> hahaahhaha
<Ash> [13:35] <zaney> whats the greatest nation in the world?
<Ash> [13:36] <Ash> Mexico!
<Ash> [13:36] <zaney> uriNATION HAW YOU idiot!@
<Ash> [13:36] <zaney> hahahahhaa
<Ash> [13:36] <zaney> thats funny
<Ash> [13:36] <zaney> urination is peee btw
<Ash> [13:36] <zaney> pee jokes own

#624 +(118)- [X]

<MadHatter> sjkdfkl;'
<Jingoro`> hatters snorting off his keyboard again

#627 +(55)- [X]

<iln> AlmtyBob: are both of j00r computers hooked up with cox?
<Ash> I'm awake! Did somebody say cox?

#632 +(69)- [X]

<AlmtyBob> i HATE MY MOM
<AlmtyBob> fucking I'm just sitting here playing oni
<AlmtyBob> and she walks in
<AlmtyBob> SHE LIVES ACCROSS THE COUNTRY
<AlmtyBob> she is NOT ALLOWED to just walk in
<AlmtyBob> didn't bother calling saying she'd be home
<AlmtyBob> didn't call me from the airport
<AlmtyBob> just bam, walks in
<AlmtyBob> what if I'd been jerking to hardcore teenage lesbo porn?
<hypr> AlmtyBob: dont forget to take da debbe does dallas p0rno out of the vcr
<AlmtyBob> actually it's interview with the vibrator
<hypr> haha
<Lk2k1> Bob has naked pictures of lux in his room.
<AlmtyBob> but I stored that away a while ago
<AlmtyBob> all my porn is digital
<AlmtyBob> oh thanks for reminding me
<AlmtyBob> gotta take the flash card out of my digicam
<AlmtyBob> lest she get curious
<hypr> wtf u made a homemade p0rn?
<AlmtyBob> just pics of people I know
<AlmtyBob> nonnude
<AlmtyBob> time to take out the trash and /clear

#636 +(172)- [X]

<Anagon> IT'S UP! I GOT IT UP!
<Anagon> (no, not like that)

#639 +(18)- [X]

<Techiii> Q: How do you spell Kuro5hin?

#642 +(24)- [X]

<Techbert> I'm an idiot, it's your fault for confusing me. :P

#648 +(231)- [X]

<snerfu> I would say the worst feeling is waking up after a night of drunken stupor and in the process of walking to your computer all you see is a pine session that says: your email "im drunk" has been sent.

#650 +(63)- [X]

<Auspex> how do i decompile a .c in windows?

#653 +(149)- [X]

<metio> is there a pirated site that ahs the newest version of linux

#657 +(23)- [X]

<muted> i dont like slackware
<Zephyrous> muted: what are you on?
<Accipiter> Zephyrous >> Crack, apparently.
<muted> suse

#659 +(-12)- [X]

<imminent> clean keyboard
<imminent> yesss
<edible> you desemenized it?
<edible> let some cum hungry slut lick the shit out of your keyboard?

#662 +(44)- [X]

(|Chris) take your dick out of the port
(Chis) hey it worked!

#665 +(46)- [X]

<reptile-> i like to masturbate
<reptile-> heh
<reptile-> I remember along time ago
<reptile-> when I was like 8 er smthn
<reptile-> my friend was like, "Gay people masturbate." or something
<reptile-> and I was like, "ew.. I'm never doing that!"
<reptile-> !#@$

#668 +(43)- [X]

<homerj> I wish I had a detachable penis
<homerj> then when I went out as a woman, I wouldn't have to tape it up

#673 +(200)- [X]

<makeworld> ICQ scared the shit outta me
<makeworld> walked into my pitch dark room and hear a knocking noise, sounded
            like someone knocking on my window
<makeworld> shit

#677 +(135)- [X]

After fatal school shooting in Littleton Colorado, 4/20/99
[18:38] <THE_RAY> Any people from the school in here?
[18:39] <scitz0> oh yah i got home from the shooting and "logged on" you idiot
[18:39] <PunCHie> i got shot in the head 4 times..  but i'm okay..

#682 +(60)- [X]

*** Gambit32 has changed the topic on channel #havok to: Masturbation: If
    brute force doesnt work, use a bigger hammer.
<syx> eeeeek

#684 +(210)- [X]

<C-B0> i put a toad in the freezer... it peed then froze to the bottem...
       then my mom like screamed at me for a week or 2.. it ruled

#686 +(134)- [X]

<Kacey> if I wsa president, I would change the "In God We Trust"
        to "In Goats We Thrust"

#688 +(58)- [X]

<watashi^_> There are 177wks 3days 3mins 44secs until Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson are legal! I can't wait! d:D->=<

#690 +(2)- [X]

<Number-6> rabid fags wonder why people don't like them.
<orff> i'm a rabid faggot and people like me.
<orff> mayeb you meant rabbi fags

#693 +(12)- [X]

n e r d b 5: what in the hell
n e r d b 5: im not a registered staples user
n e r d b 5: what do i do?
e l i t e  m r p: register

#695 +(44)- [X]

<Def|CS> Porn has a neat psychological sidebit...it's like, these people are giving up their dignity so you have something to look at to entertain yourself. It's power :O

#699 +(-13)- [X]

<shockf00> anyone know where the fuck i can DL a bot for irc?
<shockf00> isnt it like named Poloris or some shit?

#702 +(48)- [X]

Technically, I can go and break the fingers of a sysadmin of any operating system and get the root password. This doesn't make it a localhost of remote attack.
-- Artur Grabowski

#705 +(59)- [X]

<vsync> my hand is banging against the keyboard, seizure-like
<tokage> vsync: is your masturbation coordination nerve acting up again?:)

#710 +(10)- [X]

<iln> i haven't stuck anything up my ass before but i've thought about it

#712 +(33)- [X]

<Jingoro`> I dont wana see pictures of brazilian santaclause
<Jingoro`> he probably has roms in his sack

#714 +(113)- [X]

<Hatter> I know it's up for me!
<Hatter> take it etherman!~
<notgoth> if you steal my sunshine!
<Hatter> I SAID etherman
* notgoth steals etherman's sunshine :D
<EtherMan> :(
* EtherMan no sunshine
<notgoth> fine, you can have it back :D
* EtherMan sunshine!
<Hatter> Alright, now that's just gay.

#718 +(-15)- [X]

<wild> i'm going to titty fuck her on the casket

#722 +(66)- [X]

<MadHatter> if you want to meet girls, I'll take you out
<Ash> I want nice nerd girls, not coked-up models.

#724 +(-20)- [X]

<EFX> at least I'm not black with a huge penis

#735 +(-54)- [X]

<MadHatter> I'm your little butterfly

#740 +(78)- [X]

<cyde> Nocarrier, AOL Called. They said they miss you.

#748 +(73)- [X]

<|Dan|> I don't wanna sound gay or anything.. but.. could I fuck you in the ass?

#755 +(362)- [X]

<saboteur> sometimes i wish i didtn have a penis
<saboteur> like when i get a wood standing up
<Damien> lol sab
<saboteur> and its hard to hide
<phase5> same
<phase5> or like, when your walking down the street
<phase5> and it hangs out the bottom of your pants
<phase5> and drags on the ground
<saboteur> haha
<saboteur> yeah exactly
<k> or when you lie down and planes crash into it

#757 +(-2)- [X]

<Primus> does any1 know how to tell just by looking, what size a RAM chip is?

#759 +(351)- [X]

<cygnus> oi
<cygnus> in windows
<cygnus> what it mean
<cygnus> if the folder has a hand underneaath it
<Sephiroth> means it is shared
<Sephiroth> across your network
<cygnus> how did you know that
<cygnus> i thought it meant itwas heavy
<cygnus> or something
<cygnus> like
<cygnus> it's got 10 gigs in it

#762 +(1)- [X]

uuu join/#unix (Hes^GoT^LiNuX!root@vw-14185.kems.net)..
<Hes^GoT^LiNuX> I Have Linux Perl Can i Download Gnome???

#764 +(72)- [X]

<DigDug> looks like microsoft is extending http
<DigDug> HTTP 403.9 - Access Forbidden: Too many users are connected
<DigDug> Internet Information Services
<OxOO> that must be visual http++

#766 +(88)- [X]

<ckx> i'd love to become a hit man
<ckx> not because i like killing people
<ckx> just for the nice suits
<ikkenai> and the bitches

#771 +(-8)- [X]

<c-rOCK> I CANT WAIT TO SEE THAT COLLEGE GIRL GET RAPED BY A ALIIGATOR

#773 +(14)- [X]

<justinfinity> h2odragon, a deja vu is a glitch in the scoop
<justinfinity> rusty changed something

#779 +(6)- [X]

<zaney> whats gaotse.cs url
<zaney> correct 1

#781 +(14)- [X]

<D1> mp3[01 - s~1] [1m47s/1.23mb/96kbps]
<D1> arg
<D1> i need one of those mp3 name thingies

#783 +(90)- [X]

(DigDug) i'm really glad that my penis doesn't have an odometer

#786 +(-37)- [X]

(Erich) i can run faster than a blood hound
(zp) Erich: all the free niggas can, thats why they're free

#788 +(53)- [X]

(sonique) i'm sensitive
(sonique) i cry at movies
(sonique) i change clothes 5 times before i go to school
(sonique) i also look at little boys with a glint of danger in my eye

#790 +(256)- [X]

(Guilty) "WITHOUT ULTRA PORT GUARD 2000, HACKERS CAN STEAL YOUR CHILDREN"

#792 +(50)- [X]

(maffewz) little women is on, i'm sure every lesbian with a tivo is filling up hard drive space

#794 +(197)- [X]

<ckx> part of the problem with christains
<ckx> is they're so gullible
<DigDug> ckx: isn't that why they're christians in the first place?
<ckx> heh good point

#797 +(21)- [X]

<DarkSun> I ask for a n64 emu and a big nerd syz me go to http://www.emu's.shoved.up.my.arse.com
<DarkSun> Anyone have a good webpage with EMU????

#801 +(9)- [X]

<`bobble`> give +v to PunKz plz. i want him close to me

#805 +(-1)- [X]

<DUJSHEBAE> HI, ANYONE knows which is the best programm for emulate PSX in a pentium 133?

#807 +(14)- [X]

<Skywarp> Someone needs to shave zophars head and use his hair as experimental flac vest material

#809 +(-5)- [X]

<Beez> do u know where to download the Psx emulator EMU and Bleed?

#811 +(18)- [X]

<lugnut> He used to fwap it around in front of his mom constantly

#816 +(119)- [X]

<Firebrand> Mario and Luigi are just too "goody goody" with each other.
<Firebrand> I'd wonder what kind of "plumbing" they do
<Firebrand> As I never see them with the tools

#820 +(59)- [X]

<TwiLyght> Toby on @#gayphonesex @#gaydads4sons @#gayteensex @#gayboysex @#gayteenboys
<TwiLyght> ack!
<TwiLyght> you dirtied my computer with /whois toby

#822 +(70)- [X]

<c0ke> Anyone have linux emulator for super nintendo ?

#825 +(85)- [X]

<PunK> she was a fast machine she kept her penis clean she was the best half woman that I ever seen

#829 +(-5)- [X]

<AnarKii> does Cel300 is fast?
<AnarKii> nyway
<AnarKii> where I could found NAME + romz ?
<AnarKii> pleazzzzzzzzzzzz

#833 +(104)- [X]

<timmo> i got a lego fetish whats it to ya?
<iMike-> damn norwegian toy companies
<McMoo> it's danish
<iMike-> what the hell is that
<iMike-> danland?

#835 +(1)- [X]

<SWM> if killing wasn't illegal I'd do it every day
<blazemore> shutup you pussy

#837 +(10)- [X]

<blazemore> puking isn't nasty unless you've got your mouth against someone's vagina and fill them up with your regurgitated lunch
<blazemore> or in their ass and have them shit it back out into your mouth
<AlmtyBob> that's not gross
<AlmtyBob> okay the second one is
<AlmtyBob> that would be the coolest jap scat pr0n ever

#840 +(250)- [X]

<SWM> catholics are stupid
<SWM> "masturbation is a sin"
<SWM> I sure showed them

#843 +(77)- [X]

*** Joins: SYch0 (Zack@pm-5-37.tellink.net)
<SYch0> coo
<SYch0> just put my old computer in my new case
<ikk|q3a> wow!
<TheFlux2k> duz it magically run faster?
<SYch0> butholes
<SYch0> wtf do I even talk to u ppl
*** Quits: SYch0 ( <k!15b7>)

#848 +(-11)- [X]

<ck3k> i wonder how people with parkingson's disease wipe their ass
<ck3k> that must be a fucking trial
<ck3k> i bet muhammed ali has a whole staff hired just to do that

#851 +(179)- [X]

<BlackDeTh> this girl was taking e for the first time.. so i knew what i had to do.. i made it a night she'll remember. (and me too :D
<lux> she'll remember it as rape at the trial and you'll remember it as consentual

#853 +(9)- [X]

<hypr> 0h shit ash
<hypr> yer roommate is offened by women?
<hypr> haw he am gay
<hypr> j00 have sex wit em?
<hypr> ash dat page am mad sl0w
<Ash> Yah.
<brazemore> hypr was taught defunct english as a child.

#855 +(190)- [X]

<EFX> does the cum in an australian girls throat go down counter clockwise?

#857 +(5)- [X]

<c0njurer> Forecast calls for Kickfest likely, with a slight chance of dickt4yt0r
<c0njurer> kthx

#859 +(228)- [X]

*** blazemore (empty3@dialup-209.245.205.138.Houston1.Level3.net) has joined #ramen
<LkAway1> blazemore: what happened on DBZ today?
<HomerJ> they fought some guy

#863 +(25)- [X]

<rob`> where does an irish family go for vacation?
<rob`> to a different bar

#865 +(-7)- [X]

<BWieRDMaN> which one is the gay euro?
<scar-> <-

#869 +(83)- [X]

<EFX> is it strange to peel pieces of skin off your cock?
<EFX> am I shedding so my cock will grow bigger?

#871 +(66)- [X]

<AlmtyBob> I think there are more christians than bullets
<AlmtyBob> sucks

#874 +(103)- [X]

<NOFX`> once a week someone threatens to take te channel
<NOFX`> its getting old
<NOFX`> iwish theyd threaten like my anal virginity or something
<NOFX`> i mean something im actually scared of losing

#876 +(143)- [X]

* [obi-wan] is away, jedi meditation (sleep) [log:OFF] [page:OFF]
<blazemore> i wonder when n0m is gonna come down from his starwars trip
* [obi-wan] waves his hand in front of blazemore "i am not on a starwars trip"

#878 +(161)- [X]

<Dipstick`> women exist?
<Dipstick`> well.. i've seen drawings
<Dipstick`> and my mother CLAIMS to be a women
<Dipstick`> i don't believe it though.... she doesn't look anything like the drawings

#881 +(426)- [X]

<|scar> Girlfriend pregnant error, [A]bort, [M]arry, [I]gnore ?

#886 +(67)- [X]

<osx> I programmed my sidewinder for IRC combat.
<osx> A for Awp, B for Ban, and C for Kick.
<osx> So watch out..

#888 +(132)- [X]

<rob`> highschool was the best 7 years of my life

#890 +(13)- [X]

<EFX> I'm sick of people bashing kiddie porn

#893 +(2)- [X]

<Keiichi> It takes brains to grow weed

#897 +(236)- [X]

<two-c00l> i met eminem yesterday
<rick^MD> eminem is gay, and i hate gays
<two-c00l> eminem is not gay!
<rick^MD> yes he is
<two-c00l> prove it
<rick^MD> ok... i had anal sex with him last week
<two-c00l> um i thought you said you hate gays?
<rick^MD> oh umm... i was just making sure he was gay so i could prove it to you

#899 +(15)- [X]

<Amanda`> YOUR 'FLOW' IS AKIN TO THAT OF MY NASAL-VOICED 3RD GRADE TEACHER.

#901 +(-4)- [X]

<McMoo> my penis is pretty gay
<McMoo> it can regularly be found in male anuses

#903 +(57)- [X]

<hypr> joo do any drugs today?
<`gb> i don't do drugs fuckface
<hypr> what is pot then
<`gb> a plant

#906 +(0)- [X]

<Jenosyn> i've seen piccies of u screwing things in your PC :)

#910 +(283)- [X]

<Kury^> the other day i found out that my Uni's fire evacuation policy for ppl with wheelchairs is to 'push them into a room, close the door, escape and then give the room number to the firemen'

#912 +(2)- [X]

[07:34] * Fustard is away, penis butter puffs [log:OFF] [page:OFF]
[07:45] * Fustard has returned, that was some good cock. [gone:10m21s]

#914 +(329)- [X]

<Fustard> fuck
<Fustard> now im bored.
<Fustard> oh well
<Fustard> at least i have a cock and the internet.
<Fustard> ill do something with that.

#917 +(121)- [X]

e l i t e m r p: afk, working on my invention
n e r d b 5: invention.....uhm, whats it do?
e l i t e m r p: converts piss into drinking water
e l i t e m r p: so far, still tastes yucky

#920 +(24)- [X]

<ckx> i used to drink
<ckx> now i just inject it straight into my arm
<ckx> i think i'm in the upper epsilion of alcoholism

#923 +(29)- [X]

<reptile-> black is pry my favorite color for clothing. =/
<MadHatter> are you still fat

#926 +(105)- [X]

(|Chris) i've blown enough snot out of my nose today to make a fucking bukkake film

#931 +(12)- [X]

<Inoshiro> If I had a reason to be gay, besides Torvalds, it'd be me

#936 +(-2)- [X]

(Guilty) I like my women the way I like my tomatos, big round buldging and red

#939 +(89)- [X]

<|Chris> yeah weather bug is bloatware and has a lame gui with banner ads
<Guilty> It's the AOL of weather reporting
<|Chris> actually guilty, i think aol has it's own weather reporting
<|Chris> aol time warner can probably make their own fucking weather
<|Chris> bastards

#943 +(62)- [X]

<SysErr0r> i'm gonna eat a box of chocolate covered strawberries then jerk off
<SysErr0r> hows THAT for romance
<hypr> only romance if you are going to caress your penis with the strawberries

#946 +(15)- [X]

(FishBulb) i exposed my lie once, then |w|dcc made an .avi
(|W|DCC) #6 101x (680kb): avi of a 2' dick

#948 +(258)- [X]

(jesdynf) I want an emulator that, every time you try to load a game, there's a 6% chance it pops up a dialog that says "It's not loading! Tap the A button to blow the dust out."

#951 +(81)- [X]

(Atarax) I think I ogle 14 year old girls just to see the looks on their parents faces

#953 +(424)- [X]

(Mutiny) I'm talking to my mom online and she just said "i could use a good vibrator. i know you dont want to hear that but a woman has needs"
* Mutiny runs and washes his eyes out with bleach

#956 +(56)- [X]

(jesdynf) If you could do it, though, you could hire kids to pedal bikes if your uptime meant that much to you... though watt for watt, you'd be better off having them steal car batteries.

#958 +(158)- [X]

(heck01) i sometimes dont know if i'm straight or not, then a cute girl sits down next to me and i get a huge erection and i remember

#960 +(52)- [X]

<c-rOCK> man napster is like tupac, that shits never going to die.

#965 +(329)- [X]

<Driph> a friend of mine is bi
<Driph> and she's arguing with her girlfriend about who is supposed to cook tonite
<Driph> and I told her that was the worst thing about a relationship between two women, you dont automatically know who's supposed to cook

#968 +(1151)- [X]

<blazemore> i need to find a used ddr 3rd mix machine
*** Joins: DigDug (digdug@dialup-63.214.200.78.Philadelphia1.Level3.net)
<AlmtyBob> good fucking luck
<AlmtyBob> you're looking at $8000 wihtout shipping
<AlmtyBob> even used
<DigDug> whatcha talking about, bob?
<AlmtyBob> a filipina chick
<AlmtyBob> the ones you buy in exchange for bringing them to the us
<blazemore> my dad is thinking about helping pay for one so we can stick it in an arcade and make some money :o

#972 +(1)- [X]

<qslack> Hey, if K5 people caused a commotion at im-ur, is it a Kumo5hin?

#976 +(46)- [X]

<digdug> wow
<digdug> did you ever wake up and feel like you've accidentally managed to get yourself into another dimension?
<digdug> it's one of those days...
<tokage> try /nick DigDug
<tokage> that'll probably fix it

#980 +(54)- [X]

<SYch0> ok
<SYch0> a word of warning:
<SYch0> never try to masturbate with a bandaid on
<SYch0> :(
<SYch0> cuz you might as well take a belt sander to your dick
<blazemore> what the fuck, sych0
<SYch0> :D

#993 +(1443)- [X]

serluny: how long did it took u to learn c?
ReDPriest:4.5 minutes
serluny:how did u do that?
ReDPriest:i downloaded it into my brain..i got a program to do
that
serluny:what program
ReDPriest:download shit into your brain v3.1
serluny:how do i download it?
ReDPriest: go to www.downloadable-shit-for-your-brain.com
serluny:i cant download it something is wrong

#997 +(76)- [X]

<theR> I'm glad I remembered I'm an idiot before I started to set up a wins proxy

#1005 +(144)- [X]

Mtgwiz2727: what is the difference between c++ and dos?

#1008 +(43)- [X]

(MoLaUstEr) I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is
(MoLaUstEr) *gay hand thing*

#1012 +(60)- [X]

<@neoblaze> I fell over in a heterosexual fashion

#1016 +(30)- [X]

~ _raven is Away. [Reason: out. like a boner in sweat pants.]

#1018 +(43)- [X]

(SpAc3d) i hate when [movie groups] release shitty quality stuff like TS and Cam's
(SpAc3d) its a fuckin waste of space
(mistical) like Hannibal *upsidedown cam* *real* *subtitled* *in japanesse*

#1023 +(93)- [X]

<timmo> for hookers in vegas its like
<timmo> $500
<timmo> they better be fucking me while im playing quake and shit

#1026 +(54)- [X]

(TheGamer) people are so broke here [THE UNITED KINGDOM] - because many brits are unskilled, as you can leave school with a standing at 16. Many people live in housing equivalent to Manitoba Housing (gov't assisted housing)
(TheGamer) however.. you as a Canadian would not be entitled to any benefits.. except free birth control pills
(tiko) I'd get free birth control pills?!?!
(tiko) DAMMIT!
(tiko) SOLD!

#1029 +(163)- [X]

<timmo> you know maybe we need a real woman in here to help us, give us a womans point of view cause i mean if i asked amanda what makes a man a badass
<timmo> how much you want to bet she would say something like
<timmo> great grammar and 100% kill rate in quake

#1031 +(39)- [X]

(MoLaUstEr) You know, there's something rewarding about harrassing people who message you out of the blue.
(MoLaUstEr) That's why I'm gonna LOVE ICQ
(MoLaUstEr) Whoa man....I'm gonna be the biggest dick, north of my belly button.

#1033 +(48)- [X]

<Guilty> Surely you see how trite the name "assassin" is [in Quake III]
<Guilty> Might as well be "Player"

#1036 +(2)- [X]

<Thinkmad> lets get up a game of cs
<Thinkmad> fsho
<Thinkmad> i want to make a map
<Guilty> Oh god
<Guilty> You would have penis's hidden EVERYWHERE

#1038 +(162)- [X]

<[Duo]> man, you guys are so not 7334

#1040 +(-13)- [X]

<Lou_Ferrigno> I gain $100.000, per month, and i have a z3 im my garage. And im bigger than you, you are subnutrition , hacker stupid

#1044 +(48)- [X]

<digdug> i think i've come up with a solution to my problem
<digdug> i'll just put each [previously misconfigured NT] box into its own domain
<digdug> mwuahahahah
<h2odragon> digdug: you are in Hell; all you can do is push the rock up a different wall for a while
<h2odragon> it's still going to roll back down

#1047 +(80)- [X]

<ryo-ohki> I'm gonna try setting up some Dutch auctions on eBay.
<blazemore> you're supposed to be 18 to use ebay though :|
<ryo-ohki> Tell that to my 200 pairs of dirty teen boy's undies.

#1049 +(0)- [X]

(s|urpee) haha yuh me hakz0r the university gibson
(s|urpee) one day
(s|urpee) I was like hakz0ring it and stuff
(s|urpee) and I was like emailing support@cc and shit
(s|urpee) and then he emailed me back and told me to notify the lab guy that the comp next to me needed rebooting

#1052 +(12)- [X]

<_Bas> folks, when people say "power train", do they mean "automatic transmission"?

#1056 +(4)- [X]

<_Gandalf_> if i were mexican i'd have something witty and funny to say...

#1058 +(0)- [X]

<Chis> Away message on AIM: I am away from my computer right now. ( I final gotten my cable modem!!)

#1060 +(117)- [X]

<tokage> ha ha 'geek' weddings - "Do you, GandalfGreyhame, take cyndrekit to be your lawfully wedded wife in uptime and down, for low processing power and high, till someone unplugs the power cord

#1063 +(108)- [X]

(nexxai) looking at porn with your dad's girlfriend in the room is weird

#1065 +(46)- [X]

*** bongboy is now known as hurstdogs-mom
<hurstdog> don't make me kill you
<pb> hurstdog: you'd kill your own mother???

#1068 +(-5)- [X]

<Amanda> OKAY. MCDONALD'S, TACO BELL, OR "OTHER"?

#1075 +(27)- [X]

<acestus> Maarken: Bah, briefs-wearer.
<acestus> You might as well run EMACS.

#1077 +(16)- [X]

(frOsty-) s|urpee: holy shit, i just stopped caring about this thread of conversation

#1079 +(21)- [X]

(R0y-HR) i just mauled my cat and got static shock from her ear

#1083 +(105)- [X]

<thinkmad> vvhat is pengs real name
<timmo> chris
<timmo> is your w broken?
<thinkmad> no

#1089 +(55)- [X]

(kellai) fr0g is cuddly
(kellai) except for when he tried to light me on fire

#1091 +(40)- [X]

(tiko-out) Guin is the poster child for pulling out
(Twin-X) although she's the result of not

#1095 +(-4)- [X]

<enex> sux!
<LkTruth1> enex reminds me of this: http://www.hoover.com/

#1097 +(189)- [X]

[D1] You know, I started the slammer routine.
[D1] when everyone was playing for pogs
[D1] I put down my slammer
[D1] and it started a huge trend
[D1] then EVERYONE played for slammers
[Guilty] You put it on the pile?
[D1] yeah
[Guilty] Thats just stupid
[D1] I was a high roller.
(McMoo) are you guys discussing pog tactics?
[D1] yes

#1101 +(96)- [X]

[Guilty] Jean-Claude Van Damme made a movie named "Replicant" in 2001?
[Guilty] When did that come out
(McMoo) 2001

#1103 +(15)- [X]

<chrab> aol is for hardcore idlers
*** chrab Quit (Read error: 54)

#1107 +(6)- [X]

* MadHatter is back from: Rebooting!
<^enex^> do you feel refreshed

#1112 +(0)- [X]

<BlackDeth> gb: ph33r im gonna be seeing spacegirl in a few weeks :P
<LkTrout1> Deth is a boner.
<blazemore> lk has a blackdeth.

#1116 +(176)- [X]

<var> hrmm
<var> how the fuck did a shortcut to e13ay end up on my desktop
<var> what kinda nefarious shit is windows update pulling
<Guilty> It's your computers way of saying it wants a new owner
<Guilty> Like a dog scratching on the door to get out

#1119 +(134)- [X]

<iMike> monty python would be funny if nerds hadnt invented an entire subculture devoted to quoting it

#1123 +(81)- [X]

<SYch0> maybe in your dreams
<SYch0> and youre pretty pathetic if you dream about me
<SYch0> :o
<MadHatter> you cease to exist as soon as I close irc
<SYch0> hah
<SYch0> which is never :|

#1125 +(5)- [X]

<`Tag> you have a lot of anger from efnet in you
<`Tag> and it shows

#1133 +(66)- [X]

<homerj> a robot on Futurama
<homerj> "You know why they are using WIndows 3000 as a prison guard?"
<homerj> because it always locks up

#1137 +(69)- [X]

<notgoth> FUCK DAMN IT
<notgoth> i shot cum in my eye
<notgoth> fuck that burns
<notgoth> i was jerking off
<notgoth> and damn!
<notgoth> ow
<enex> were you jerking off to your dick or something?

#1141 +(30)- [X]

[D1] wait, vinyl players are called turntables too?

#1143 +(87)- [X]

<MadHatter> I did a search for "madhatter efnet" on google and the first thing I see is:
<MadHatter> <MadHatter> I cut my tongue shaving
<MadHatter> that's great

#1147 +(131)- [X]

<AirMonk> I'm still looking for a girl that can get aroused by the sound
of a hard drive spinning down

#1151 +(109)- [X]

<Synthrev> Ramen...coke is for pussies
<th0m> no, that's *cock*

#1153 +(177)- [X]

(Mutiny) I'm talking to my mom online and she just said "i could use a good vibrator. i know you dont want to hear that but a woman has needs"

#1156 +(53)- [X]

<Viscant> hey, i learned a lot from loveline
<Viscant> if a chick has thin white worms coming out of the tang, don't go down there
<Viscant> thanks dr. drew!
<ceddar> thin white worms means everything is a-ok
<ise> ew thin white worms?
<ise> WTF are those
<ruin-> im wondering the sameeeeeee thing...
<ceddar> my policy is if the girl has anything coming out, thin white worms, little black worms, tigers, bears, anything coming out from there, im dropping her off back at her house
<Viscant> oh yeah. and the one about the guy who only wanted to go down on his girl during "that time of the month"
<Dasrik> the one that i wished i could just reach across the phone and bitchslap
<Dasrik> like
<Dasrik> "i just sucked a guy off, and i swallowed. can i get pregnant?"

#1159 +(42)- [X]

<DeadPan> i would've challenged knights to fight in a 4 foot body of water
<DeadPan> then just tried to push em over
<DeadPan> and laugh as they drown
<th15> theyd call you a wuss :)
<DeadPan> so i'd be alive and they wouldnt :)

#1169 +(44)- [X]

(konartist) How do you know when you're REALLY ugly?
(konartist) Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.

#1175 +(-3)- [X]

<Loser> i just got an idea
<Loser> i bet noone's done this before
<Loser> get like 100 guys to come into a bottle
<Loser> and then pay a chick to drink it
<AlmtyBob> Loser: um, that's what bukkake is all about
<ryo-ohki> I have videos to prove it.
<ryo-ohki> We're talking like a fucking clear saucer FULL of spooge
<ryo-ohki> Like, she could pour some cereal on it and still not have enough cereal to finish the jizz off.

#1177 +(-154)- [X]

<gecko^> shit my firewall is flashing like a niggers eyes on foodstamp day

#1181 +(49)- [X]

Sug*******i8: Darn it, I wanted to nuke some pizza but someone's using the micro-wave...
loofaspunge: just rub each slice one at a time really fast...

#1183 +(56)- [X]

(notME) i have a 6 week old kitten
(notME) and my 2 year old cat raped him
(notME) shoved his feline penis in his bum
(notME) i watched it
(notME) i wasn't going to spank him
(notME) d00d no
(notME) i turned around
(notME) and he's balls are smacking my kitten in the ass
(notME) i didn't want to spank him
(notME) cuz it'd only get him off faster

#1187 +(1)- [X]

(SpAc3d-) T@$#@R!@##!I!#!#P!#!#
(SpAc3d-) if you were tripping it would show up really clearly :P

#1192 +(7)- [X]

<|Chris> fat chicks are like mopeds
<|Chris> fun to ride, but don't let your friends see you on one
<DigDug> heh
<DigDug> she's like a scooter though
<var> understand 1 thing tho: fat chicks are so grateful to get laid that they will do your laundry fuck you suck you cook you dinner and 13reakfast and not har13or ill will when u want to leave and go smoke dope w/ your friends.
<DigDug> ya
<DigDug> but they're fat
<|Chris> hahahah
<|Chris> yeah..there's the whole not being physically attracted to them problem

#1195 +(47)- [X]

<Guilty> My friends cousin's mom told her kids that if you cursed online the police came to arrest you
<Guilty> So they would type like "Go to h!ll!"

#1198 +(34)- [X]

<RonaldJ> dood
<RonaldJ> we should start a site
<RonaldJ> like Am I Hot
<RonaldJ> and
<RonaldJ> Like My Nude Pic?
<RonaldJ> but call it
<RonaldJ> How Do I Look In This Shirt?
<RonaldJ> .com

#1200 +(53)- [X]

*** Jesus is now known as [_[_]
<[_[_]> lets see you
<[_[_]> break my ass of steel

#1203 +(-14)- [X]

<RevSlidey> patience is the only acoustic song I like
<Ronald> <RevSlidey> black is the only kind of dick i will suck

#1206 +(28)- [X]

<cooey> brb going to efnet under the proxy sawgrass.massopac.navy.mil and telling people to join the millitary

#1213 +(43)- [X]

*** Now talking in #hardcoremp3
*** Topic is 'Welcome to #hardcoremp3, fred dursts phone # 310-865-1000  finally a use for www.dialpad.com PRANK THAT SOB'

#1220 +(-10)- [X]

JivedNegro: I want to tell an Asian that I have "A bad case of the yellow fever"

#1222 +(53)- [X]

<Ron912> oh wow pregnant porno
<Ron912> that's like a 2 for 1 deal

#1224 +(52)- [X]

<blazemore> <SonGohanX> from age 0-4 was like, playskool toys
<blazemore> <SonGohanX> 5-13 was nintendo and sega
<blazemore> <SonGohanX> 14-present IRC
<blazemore> <SonGohanX> that was my life in a nutshell
<LkAway1> * blazemore is now known as SonGohanX

#1227 +(198)- [X]

<brian`home> so im takin my shower
<brian`home> then i whip out the old hockey shampoo
<brian`home> I WAS LIKE OMFG I LOVE YOU HOCKEY SHAMPOO
<brian`home> so i take a swig of it
<brian`home> cuz it smelled so f'in good
<brian`home> dude it tasted nasty

#1229 +(18)- [X]

<@SwampGas> THE CHICKEN IS IN THE POT
<@SwampGas> COME IN RED SQUIRREL
<@SwampGas> COOK IT.
<@SwampGas> that's admin code talk
<@SwampGas> "they got illegal files"
<@SwampGas> "delete it"

#1232 +(6)- [X]

<pz> telnet lag reminds me of taking a shit

#1240 +(0)- [X]

<gb> drugs make music better
<gb> you ignorant fuck

#1244 +(120)- [X]

<atila> my pc just shocked me
<atila> I touched my cd-r and it went "bzzzzzzzzzzzzzt"
<ivilgrue> must be an anti-piracy system

#1246 +(-217)- [X]

<eblan-> if all mexicans just killed themselves the world would be fixed

#1249 +(11)- [X]

<shadowrye> okay
<shadowrye> who wants a box
<|Raven|> i do
<shadowrye> good
<shadowrye> now
<shadowrye> who wants to pay for a colo
<|Raven|> i don't

#1259 +(95)- [X]

<Spike-Man> #myass is pretty cool.
<Spike-Man> Who wants to come in #myass?

#1261 +(32)- [X]

<JRichman> "Easy" only equals "better" for crack addicts and web developers.

#1264 +(35)- [X]

<@SwampGas> my whoroscope says i'm gonna get overcharged today

#1267 +(76)- [X]

uiu j0sh69!#linuxbox is looking for a site that teaches you how to steal cars and steal radios please msg me if your know, it is for a good cause

#1271 +(11)- [X]

<ez1|#trance> hey anyone who has experience with ecstasi please msg me , rush

#1273 +(29)- [X]

<Fakester> hmm, I wonder if Wal-Mart would ask for ID on a return...
<Fakester> that could be a problem
<Tortri> if they do, well... tell them you forgot it, take the DC back home
<Tortri> then you'll be stuck with a new dc
<Fakester> Tortri: I'm currently unemployed, I don't have $100 to waste like that.
<Tsengie> sell it to some stupid kid for 119
<Tsengie> tell him it's a ps2

#1275 +(82)- [X]

<iis> exploit me

#1278 +(110)- [X]

<Amanda> USER             TTY      FROM              LOGIN@  IDLE WHAT
<Amanda> amanda           p0       ppp152.acelink.n  2:46AM     - pico vi-tutorial

#1289 +(243)- [X]

<Wazm> I spent the entire day being normal, now that I'm home, I just want to duct tape fuzzy green pipe cleaners to my head, turn on the strobe, take off my clothes, and IRC.

#1293 +(160)- [X]

<l0g1c> Does giving handjobs make you go blind??
<ApOkAliPs> HAHA
<ApOkAliPs> well...
<ApOkAliPs> depends where you aim it...

#1301 +(33)- [X]

<homerj> I'm starting to have a real dislike of vegitarians
<homerj> and their holier then thou attitude
<noxnbox> we should eat them
<ryo-ohki> I bet they'd taste good.
<berzerker> my band has a 6 minute track about hating vegitarians
<ryo-ohki> Their body is like all meat, with just a little bit of fat.
<berzerker> and throwing steaks at their face
<homerj> because they must have some sort of rule that they tell you they are vegetarian like 5 times a day
<homerj> must be in the handbook "when you hvae the desire to eat meat, tell someone your a vegetarian"
<DigDug> you know, vegetarians are probably kosher too

#1303 +(5)- [X]

<Eblan> nirvana smells like teen spirit is on, and i can't help but headbang to this song
<Eblan> and it dosent feel right with short hair

#1307 +(15)- [X]

(tiko-gfx) I'm mkaing my cock dance
(tiko-gfx) right now it's doing the robot
(tiko-gfx) I wonder if I can get it to do the funky chicken

#1309 +(18)- [X]

~ TwinWork is craving chinese
(TwinWork) any asian girls in here?

#1317 +(32)- [X]

~ BigTongue is talking to a 18 year old portuguese chick.. that means she's either gunna give good head or clean my house nicely

#1320 +(37)- [X]

(pervert) roy: get off your "would be heterosexual if i had enough options to have a preference" ass and go get some :P

#1323 +(178)- [X]

<hypr> ¿
<LkTruth1> hypr is confused in Spanish.

#1325 +(147)- [X]

<immi> a penny for your thoughts
<dr\gonzo> a nickle for anal with your mom

#1328 +(309)- [X]

<Brinstar> If it wasn't for C, we'd be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL.

#1331 +(93)- [X]

<felix> that raid card is gonna saturate that machine
<felix> that's like giving a chihuahua a fire hydrant enema.

#1335 +(0)- [X]

<lizx_:#916> i hsaid U becaude i am ficked up

#1338 +(141)- [X]

<Frodo1234> Although it turns out that "non-toxic" isn't synonomous with "great for snacking" when it comes to toys
<Frodo1234> Even though they say that bubble blowing fluid is non toxic, apparently you're still not supposed to chug it

#1343 +(141)- [X]

(nexxai) Five seconds later, I'm getting the upside of 15Kv across the nipples. (These ambulance guys sure know how to party).

#1345 +(203)- [X]

<Orm-Riva> I knew a man who had sex with a helicopter once.
<Illandir> ...
<Orm-Riva> Alright, I didn't, I lied to try to impress you.

#1348 +(251)- [X]

<Sharkey> Why is it whenever I hear the phrase 'Battered Women' I think of fried food?

#1351 +(64)- [X]

<slyfox> lol
<slyfox> dude! I typed "lol" with my head!!!

#1353 +(23)- [X]

<Gayo> I went with purple even though two characters wear purple and the first city is made entirely of purple buildings.
<Gayo> Which means that so far the only green is in the little "occupied" lights above the bedroom doors.
<Sharkey> ... that sounds really familiar for some reason. Probably reminding me of some retarded childrens program.
<Sharkey> Something where all the people are purple and live in purple houses and have purple lawns, until mysterious green men come from the moon and everybody learns the wonders of ethnic diversity.
<Sharkey> Well slap ma fro! Where da purple woman at? Where da purple woman at? "Kill the greenie!"

#1355 +(185)- [X]

<McGrue> The truth, like a penis, sometimes slips out at inopportune times.

#1359 +(64)- [X]

<Starchild> Someone say something clever/interesting/homoerotic, I'm bored.
*** Starchild was kicked by Defcon (All your base are belong to gay men. Sex.)

#1366 +(15)- [X]

<MadHatter> kids are out of school for now...
<MadHatter> that means 2x the takeovers

#1370 +(60)- [X]

<diz> i remember sticking lightbright pegs in places they shouldn't go on a girl

#1377 +(45)- [X]

<TheFlux2k> i just teleport everywhere
<TheFlux2k> walking is for faggots

#1380 +(105)- [X]

[orion] man i had a fucked up dream last night
[orion] i think my maid was fondeling me
[orion] i was being spooned by this chick when she started to finger my asshole, and i was like "wtf is this shit, get that outta me, but i couldn't move"
[orion] so then i finally got all grossed out and woke up
[orion] and my asshole felt funny.
(|Chris) you probably fingered your own ass in your sleep
[orion] nah mang, i smelled my fingahs

#1383 +(26)- [X]

<Guilty> Thank god I'm sensible and had myself neutered

#1385 +(34)- [X]

(chronic1) i wouldn't like a virgin....i think they deserve a professional fuck the first time so they are not dissappointed....i could go down...but i am not the best fuck
...
(chronic1) if masterbation made you good, i'd be the best

#1389 +(24)- [X]

(fishead) "I fucked your girlfriend and all I got was this lousy t-shirt... and crabs"
(TwinX) " I got a handjob from Cunty McChicken and then he made me BUY this fuckin t-shirt."

#1392 +(11)- [X]

[maff] hyper is the little snack cake that could

#1394 +(15)- [X]

<CoMBo> holded down is a word btw

#1401 +(43)- [X]

<thirdrai|> me n my friends had an intelligent conversation the other day
<thirdrai|> we wre like
<thirdrai|> if u had to give head to ur father to save him would u?

#1406 +(-33)- [X]

*** CiXeL (...@pool694-cvx.ds68-ca-us.dialup.earthlink.net) has joined #crack
<CiXeL> Kill the motherfucking curseword kick you pansyass girls use.Censorship blows & I dont want irc turning into a g4y ass aol or purple moon game. I hate to wake you up but this *ISNT* aol & never will be. You will never be allowed to sanitize & pollitically correctize the net. So sure, kick me, ban me, whatever but Im not going away unless you can ban every single combination of ident, ip in my pool or the whole domain earthlink.net.If I

#1408 +(18)- [X]

<mlkesl> Lets all be vermifuge robots.
* mlkesl goes into robot mode.
* mlkesl does nothing.
* mlkesl makes fun of people who do stuff.
* mlkesl does some more nothing.

#1413 +(109)- [X]

<TheVirus> i hate when im takin a whizz, and then im almost done, then i get those damned piss shakes. and my piss goes all over the damn place, then my cat comes in and licks it up. good cat =D

#1419 +(54)- [X]

<|Chris> you couldn't get a man if you opened your ass like the goatse.cx guy and walked around a prison yard

#1423 +(79)- [X]

<katers> my fucking roommate
<katers> needs to stop being a ho
<katers> or cut me in on the action
<katers> one or the other.

#1428 +(5)- [X]

<LatinKing> I was born homophobic, but i came out of the closet a long time ago when i told my family i found out that a lot of them were too!

#1430 +(-202)- [X]

<LatinKing> Just look at all the contributions Irish niggers have made to society
<LatinKing> Potato Famine
<LatinKing> heh
<LatinKing> Black Irish
<LatinKing> Are the worst
<Culex> aren't irish green tho?
<chracker> pots of gold are cool
<LatinKing> You have to be the stupidist person I have ever had the chance encounter of conversating with....
<LatinKing> Only pot of gold you have is your dried up honey pot between your flaming red crotch...and that pot was plundered a long time ago

#1433 +(79)- [X]

<Foo1> I AM JESUS
<Foo1> BOW TO ME
<Foo1> BOW TO MY GREATNESS
<Foo1> FOR I AM THE SAVIOR
<Foo1> (*#$(*$#
*** Foo1 was kicked by Evel (WOOOOO I JUST KICKED JESUS FROM AN IRC CHANNEL!@##!@!@#!@#)

#1443 +(1046)- [X]

<Graeme> yeah, don't be nasty. my grandad died in a concentration camp......!
<Graeme> he fell out a guard tower. broke his neck

#1450 +(63)- [X]

<buq> Intra - do you have any other stuff that is on the same basic level as moby?
<phatkro> No one is on Moby's level
<phatkro> He's stuck on level 3, world 7 of the original Super mario Bros.

#1455 +(19)- [X]

<KMFDM> Your rank out of 1918856 total users is: 411951st place
<bocz> aha whats that for
<bocz> a beauty contest?

#1458 +(52)- [X]

<AlexChiu> I should check my hotmail account.  See what happened to that psycho 13 year old bisexual girl who wanted to be my girlfriend

#1462 +(116)- [X]

<PwRPufF> im a smart blond :)
<nexxai> YAY FOR DUMB BLONDES#@$@!$! ---- I mean....ummm --- YAY FOR SMART BLONDES *mutter* lol, no such thing
<PwRPufF> :/
<PwRPufF> shut up
<PwRPufF> hey soon im gonna have artifical intelegance
<PwRPufF> hehe
<nexxai> dyed hair?

#1466 +(18)- [X]

<jeremy^> everything i know about genetics, i learned from beverly hills 90210 and other aaron spelling classics. :)
<jeremy^> oh, and biology class
<jeremy^> but i mean come on

#1470 +(54)- [X]

<isocat> onion headlines make me laugh out loud, even if i have my cock in my hand

#1473 +(44)- [X]

<isocat> id like to see a good movie about someone nuking the Superbowl

#1479 +(12)- [X]

[McMoo] wow
[McMoo] public radio is playing charles mingus
[thinkmad] as opposed to private radio
[McMoo] yes
[Guilty] Xite was trying to be witty there
[Guilty] But he failed
[McMoo] but he failed

#1482 +(-11)- [X]

::: .signoff@7.55p> jadel (jadel@h24-70-154-3.wp.shawcable.net); User abortion with 5 coathooks

#1484 +(450)- [X]

(SiNs-) $1,599.99
(SiNs-) $1,599.70
(SiNs-) Save $0.29
(SiNs-) wow
(SiNs-) if i go to bestbuy, i can buy a computer AND a peanut

#1486 +(130)- [X]

<aorie> shit slashdot STILL down
<MrP-> yeah, im crying now
<MrP-> whats wrong with it?
<aorie> this sucks
<aorie> this totally fucked up my day heh
<MrP-> me too
<MrP-> some girl asked me if i wanted to have sex with her all day, but i said "after i read slashdot"
<MrP-> GOD DAMNIT!

#1488 +(12)- [X]

<NtG> now if only people would swallow their syringes
<NtG> im sick of stepping on them

#1490 +(59)- [X]

* AaronWL licks jwilbur seductively.
<jwilbur> AaronWL: rawr, you're a frisky one. Too bad you're on AOL, I might catch something

#1497 +(109)- [X]

<MrP-> i have pillows shipped UPS so when i get them they are already pre pounded and fluffy

#1504 +(105)- [X]

<dr\gonzo> fuck linux
<dr\gonzo> that's the OS for people that don't wear deodorant

#1507 +(35)- [X]

<nexxai> man, I love having hookups
<MTrez> found someone who works in an abnormally large dildo factory?

#1511 +(40)- [X]

(e-city) why do they rip trance as one huge mp3????
(Graeme) 'cos it's mixed, and the gaps you'd get in winamp would spoil your ecstasy trip

#1518 +(6)- [X]

*** Quits: ZiGgA (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)
<ZiGgA> help me..
<ZiGgA> i think i am being packetted!
<ZiGgA> my receive light is on fulltime!

#1521 +(-207)- [X]

(br0kerman) leave him alone
(br0kerman) hes more l33t then u
(br0kerman) he deserves +o
(Skizer) no, he can fuck off
(Skizer) he deserves +JEW
(br0kerman) why?
(Skizer) cause he's a faggot
(Skizer) not even +JEW
(br0kerman) hahah
(Skizer) some jew's are cool
(Skizer) he's gay
(Skizer) he deserves +SANFRANCISCO cause he's a flaming faggot

#1523 +(11)- [X]

<sev> there is no big brother
<sev> just a big pervert

#1525 +(16)- [X]

(JazzSax) tim likes 8 year old girls
(JazzSax) he looks sooooo big in their hands.
(JazzSax) they like picture books
(tiko) rhonda: Think of me more as a childhood educator.
(dev-) um, I don't think sex ed lessons aren't supposed to be in the back of a white van

#1528 +(113)- [X]

<JDigital> We used to have this kick ass game when we were kids....
<VillainSede> Swallow the chlorine tabs?
<VillainSede> that one takes me back..

#1532 +(-97)- [X]

<mydgear> wow, im listening to the best of dj premiere
<mydgear> every beat sounds the same
<diagram> kinda like how all blacks look the same

#1535 +(182)- [X]

<JDigital> Speaking of which, did you know that Slashdot.org just changed its name to Gullible?
<HoJu> Really?

#1538 +(92)- [X]

<vermifuge> dude what the f
<vermifuge> 256 megs kingston for 20 dollars, shipped
<dr\gonzo> FOR LESS THAN A PILL OF ECSTACY YOU CAN HAVE 256MB OF RAM

#1541 +(73)- [X]

<Delusion> I'm reminded of someone I worked with who was about 35 and who dyed a streak of grey in his hair to look 'distinguished'.
<Delusion> Instead, he looked 'gay'.

#1545 +(58)- [X]

<peng> Guilty and I never had dealings
<Guilty> Remember that time you were lonely and couldnt find any new Brittney porn
<peng> which time
<Guilty> And I hadnt gotten a haircut in a while so my golden locks were flowing
<Guilty> And I happen to have a tight red jumpsuit...
<Guilty> And well, you know

#1547 +(794)- [X]

<iMike> i was just thinking of hiring a man to service my septic system
<maff> is that the classy way to say you want to get fucked in the ass?

#1553 +(128)- [X]

<ckx> i hate when i find other people's underwear sitting on my toothbrush in the bathroom
<ckx> i fucking clean my mouth with that thing
<ckx> i don't want no skank ass panties on top of it at 8 fucking am
*** skmt changes topic to '<ckx> i hate when i find other people's underwear sitting on my toothbrush in th'
<ckx> yah that's pretty funny
<ckx> almost as funny as picking pubic hair out of your teeth

#1555 +(34)- [X]

<ckx> i'm not gay
<ckx> i just like to see people fuck
<ckx> even if they're guys

#1557 +(76)- [X]

<Badforyou> Does anyone know where you can buy large, exceptionally strong plastic bags, fake dog poo, sulphuric acid, aroma therapy candles, and a ten pound dead doberman on the internet?
<freekoala> all but the dead dog on amazon.com i bet
<freekoala> you could put together your 'amazon.com' wishlist and send it to people. they will wonder about the theme, but keep them wondering.

#1562 +(287)- [X]

*** C2H5OH has joined #finalfight
<MightyQuinn> greetings, Mr. Ethanol
<Rico> Mmm... caffeine.
<Squizzle> Wow, one of you failed organic chem.

#1566 +(58)- [X]

<Chis_> this problem calls for a trip to #math

#1569 +(188)- [X]

<defproc> i made a program that crashed once. i put it in my resumé and sent it to microsoft.

#1573 +(0)- [X]

<tress> i've erected a level 10 forcefield around my penis

#1575 +(229)- [X]

<CoN> ... next you'll tell me that you shaved your pubes under the misdirection that i care
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> eh...
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> hey CoN, I shave my pubic hair under the misdirection that you care.
<CoN> oh thanks
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> then I make socks out of it.
<CoN> ... thats weird
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> human-wool socks
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> >:D
<[U|C]SKS_Lover> wanna know how I make apple juice?
*** CoN has quit IRC

#1578 +(2470)- [X]

<calin> we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator
<ecoli> ew.
<ecoli> wait, you "caught" him?
<ecoli> like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store?
<Aero> he doesnt answer
*** Quits: calin (No route to host)

#1580 +(76)- [X]

<no_soul> i snorted Ajax
<no_soul> i almost died

#1582 +(35)- [X]

<assman2> i hate getting cum on my hand
<assman2> its fucking annoying
<assman2> have to find something to wipe if off on
<mabbz> assman shoots it all over his chest and belly and then smears it around so he can pretend he's a glazed donut
<assman2> mabbz
<assman2> i cant shoot that far
<mabbz> oh so when you cum it just oozes out into your belly button?
<hydro> jesus
<assman2> i fucking hate when that happens
<hydro> this is fucking disgusting
<assman2> it happened to me once

#1584 +(4)- [X]

<Godzi||a> I would suck my own dick too if I could.
<Chrononaut> "you're only gay if you swallow"
<Invictus[A]> you're a fag for even thinkin' about it

#1586 +(105)- [X]

<[D60]BIG_K> WHY IS CHANSERV IN EVERY FUCKING CHANNEL

#1588 +(37)- [X]

<zuez> today by morning, while walking with carlos, a frind of mine, i saw the prostitute that made me lose my virginity like 7 months ago, it sucked.

#1590 +(207)- [X]

<Camo> wiz
<Camo> have you ever gotten something taken away from you by the principal in middle school?
<Wizkid`> yes, my virginity

#1592 +(11)- [X]

<parag0n> LOL I JUST HACKED MY SCHOOL
<trigg`> what exploit?
<parag0n> I USED ROOTKIT
<trigg`> um ok but what exploit?? and what OS do they run?
<parag0n> I TOLD U ROOTKIT, AND THATS THE FUNNY PART THEIR SO LAME, THEY RUN WINDOWS98!! LOL!!!
<trigg`> uh ok

#1594 +(13)- [X]

<Prae> im here to packet and chew gum
<Prae> and im all outta gum

#1596 +(47)- [X]

<Prae> ANY WOMEN AGED 25 TO 30 IN ENGLAND!?
<Prae> I'LL DRIVE 500 MILES FOR A FUCK IF I HAVE TO

#1598 +(311)- [X]

<k-rad-bob> omg
<k-rad-bob> I just realized
<k-rad-bob> I have a fully working penis in my pants
<k-rad-bob> brb

#1600 +(112)- [X]

<Prae> <mmp> Prae! Today its my birthday!
<Prae> <Prae> wanna present?
<Prae> <mmp> yes
<Prae> I’m ping flooding him

#1602 +(34)- [X]

<Camo> prence: someone at school played a prank on a loser and they fed him like
a whole bottle of viagra by putting it under the cheese of his pizza and then in
the middle of class, his penis exploded and he had to go to the hospital

#1604 +(104)- [X]

<Prence> then my mom will know i have sex with the coach
<Prence> i meant to say couch

#1607 +(47)- [X]

<kidjess> If you cause me problems
<tress> u will bust a cap in me ?
<kidjess> I will chop your penis off
<tress> oh my
<kidjess> and mail it to bob
<tress> oh oh oh my
<loser`> the postage on that would be like, 2 cents

#1609 +(161)- [X]

<chris`> ever notice how the mini pizza pringles cans dont have a lot of pizza
stuff on them but the normal sized ones do?
<Prae> to make an observation like that
<Prae> you must weigh at least 500lbs

#1611 +(85)- [X]

<tak> your mommas so dumb she set her buffer length to a minimal octal instead of puging the cache

#1615 +(29)- [X]

<eastjinx> from 19 to now, my world has completely changed
<DigDug> my world changes every 6 months :[
<|steve|> the world has changed 3 times since the last time i been out
<sev> world changes for me everyday
<|steve|> but our penis size stays the same

#1617 +(3)- [X]

<ground0-> as if your opinion matters, or means anything in this world at all
<hypr> as if your elitest bs opinion matter, or means anything in this world at all
<hypr> ;P
<ground0-> actually it does
<hypr> and how is that
<ground0-> highschool/college graduate/registered voter/licensed driver

#1619 +(352)- [X]

<Seros> fuck
<Seros> we were at 7-11
<Seros> And amanda is wearing this shirt that says "wtf?"
<Seros> The indian guy that works there said "What is the meaning of this.. wtf?"
<Amanda> I told him that it's a non-profit organization.  >:O

#1622 +(70)- [X]

<YehhNO> how i download irc?

#1627 +(137)- [X]

<Zonkto> I'll bet you could ski through a revolving door if you timed it really well.

#1630 +(104)- [X]

(mc-face) don't you think a funny joke gift would be kleenex that smells like ass

#1632 +(39)- [X]

<perdida> should I go make porn for loan-payment cash? if so which aspect of porn would have the best pay/disgusting stuff ratio?

#1634 +(177)- [X]

<harb> Polybeastiality? Is that like cheating on your sheep with your cow?

#1637 +(37)- [X]

<_Delirium> "Perl is awk with skin cancer.  And it's ugly too." -my cs professor

#1640 +(297)- [X]

<Inoshiro> Wth
<Inoshiro> "Don't iron, don't put in a triangle, don't put in an oval"
<harb> Er?
<Inoshiro> Is there a translation table for the washing tag on clothing?

#1645 +(59)- [X]

n e r d b 5: umm.
n e r d b 5: geforce
n e r d b 5: i dont like em
n e r d b 5: i like nvidia
n e r d b 5: 32mb
n e r d b 5: they rocks
e l i t e m r p: nvidia makes geforce

#1651 +(85)- [X]

(tinkrbell) my dog humps my other guy dog.. instead of my girl dog.. at least he's comfortable with himself and realized it at an early age

#1655 +(139)- [X]

<JD> I, or one of my teammates, shall cause you to become electroencephalographically challenged.
Mr Brown> ill kill you
<JD> No, I like the way I say it better

#1658 +(56)- [X]

<bigPIMP> are you a virgin?
<kink> yes
<kink> giving it up to a non-linux using chick is like giving it up to a man, just wrong

#1660 +(1421)- [X]

<DigiGnome> Real life should have a fucking search function, or something.
<DigiGnome> I need my socks.

#1663 +(135)- [X]

<goltrpoat> 'britney spears' is an anagram for 'presbyterians.'

#1670 +(36)- [X]

<kisama> just leave clues as to your modem
<kisama> motive*

#1672 +(132)- [X]

(Stacey```) i'd like to know who the fuck encodes shit to real player
(Stacey```) so i can kick their ass

#1674 +(64)- [X]

<SlimZ> i like my pickup line
<SlimZ> "move i need to get a drink"

#1676 +(55)- [X]

<Daft> anyone know of any really good gardening irc channels?

#1678 +(154)- [X]

<SEoD> ooooh, my mac is gorgeous
<SEoD> it's so expensive and see-thru
<Xlord> sounds like some women I know

#1680 +(219)- [X]

<timmo> if i were to take a stab in the dark as to what orion is pissed about
<timmo> i would have to say its women troubles
<orion> next time you take a stab at something, aim for your eye

#1682 +(54)- [X]

<stc> all us asians look alike
<stc> so getting in with older brother id's is easy heh

#1693 +(34)- [X]

<Eibii> I'm crossdressing for the next con, thank ye gods. Fewer chunky Star Trek fanboys in bad latex following me around and asking me to dinner, at least. THe joy of sexual alienation...

#1699 +(-62)- [X]

<thep0et> working sucks, i stay home all day
<thep0et> i might as well be black

#1701 +(225)- [X]

<Camo> tress, how do I make a program that makes the cd spin really fast and  does't stop and if you open the cdrom drive, the cd flies out and cuts your  throat?

#1704 +(146)- [X]

<tress> I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

#1713 +(-5)- [X]

<odinnn> i used to be scared i would turn into a mexican if i ate too much
mexican food

#1723 +(262)- [X]

<k-rad-bob> i made an avi of me jacking off
<k-rad-bob> then i jacked off while watching it
* linKnee is afk: PUKING

#1728 +(136)- [X]

<Jeffwey> i will buy a camoflouged condom so u wont see me coming

#1730 +(1611)- [X]

<Mikkel> If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
<Celestya> i dont think so
<Mikkel> Wanna go camping?

#1732 +(48)- [X]

<nailhead> Ya, How come there's albinos in all races but theres no ppl that are
the opposeite? like "alblackos" or sumpin?

#1734 +(62)- [X]

::: .signoff@2.59p> Townshend (wang@cb31185-c.rmdws1.il.home.com); Geek used to be a 4-letter word; now it's a 6-figure one.

#1739 +(41)- [X]

<Slyfox> I want to make a FPS that mixes the geo-mod techonology of Red Faction, the finesse and action of Max Payne, the gore and damage map feature in Soldier of Fortune, and the story and intrigue of Half-Life.  I'll call it "Can't Fuck With This".

#1745 +(59)- [X]

(nexxai) [poopfart]: can you fart and poo at the same time?
(poopfart) yes
(poopfart) i can
(poopfart) their called accidents

#1750 +(181)- [X]

~ Deft I suck cock! msg me for price list
(Deft) uhm ignore that

#1758 +(27)- [X]

<< Now chatting in #finalfight
>>Quit! imaginari " Leaving "
>>Quit! MightyQuinn " Ping timeout "
>>Quit! Thom " Ping timeout "
[Nyphur] ARGH! I'm killing people by being here!

#1761 +(85)- [X]

<MadHatter> I'm going to buy one of those stormtrooper outfits from return of the jedu
<MadHatter> jedi
<MadHatter> and ride mine through the woods, weaving through trees
<enex> and look like a complete tool

#1763 +(93)- [X]

<Jingoro`> ash has a personality disorder
*** Jingoro` was kicked by Ash (Shut up SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP I DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!)
*** Ash sets mode: +b *!*yay@*.mw.mediaone.net

#1765 +(16)- [X]

<skunko> my standards for chicks right now are super low
<skunko> i'd go out with a chick as long as she wasnt fat, was shorter than me, and was going to get me off in some fashion

#1770 +(37)- [X]

<whoreee> i just ordered the explosion self titled CD single?
<Weeve> what's it called?

#1772 +(18)- [X]

<blazemore> i like MSIE Champion Edition

#1774 +(323)- [X]

<WabbyTwax> MOVIE TRIVIA TIME You have to beat EtherMan's high score of 720
<WabbyTwax> Question #59: for  60  points . . . .
<WabbyTwax> What special skill did the cricket possess in the movie "Mulan"?
<Evil_God> talking
<EtherMan> speech
<D-viant> singing
<Evil_God> ninjitsu
<EtherMan> swordsmanship
<D-viant> violin
<EtherMan> flight
<D-viant> fighting
<EtherMan> homosexuality
<D-viant> japanese fighting cricket
<Evil_God> big slapping testicles
<WabbyTwax> Sorry, your time is up! You had 30 seconds to answer.
<D-viant> expanding rectum
<Evil_God> opium addiction

#1776 +(61)- [X]

<cait-sith> being in love
<R0y> i wish
<R0y> it's all just confusing emotion
<R0y> one minute you think you love her, the next minute you're on yahoo masturbating with girls in the united states

#1781 +(25)- [X]

<Thraddash> How many people are buying a PS2 on Oct 26th?
<wild-> 500,000

#1783 +(4)- [X]

<Acero> ok, someone tell me which line of this spam doesnt belong
<Acero> steven, have you entered our daily drawing at Bigprizes.com yet? You could win $25.00! Buy a
<Acero> punk rock CD and stick it to The Man!!
<Acero> steven, Get Approved for an Unsecured Gold Credit Card Instantly Online! Click here and get 500
<Acero> Bigprizes points!

#1785 +(84)- [X]

<Weazel> stupid cops
<Weazel> always giving me shit
<Weazel> SHE WANTED TO HAVE SEX

#1794 +(34)- [X]

<Semi> What good is a car with no dildos?

#1805 +(153)- [X]

(treaz0n4) msn sent me a 4 page report on how to report spammers

#1808 +(214)- [X]

<JDigital> Dude, that's messed up, no way is Pikachu's dick that big

#1812 +(29)- [X]

<doobedoobedoo> I went to wales too, they're fucked people.
<doobedoobedoo> The language is really fucked up, it's like gaelic, only more fucked up.
<Thom> At least it isn't Ulster Scots.
<doobedoobedoo> Is that what they speak there?  I thought they just spoke english really really poorly.

#1819 +(94)- [X]

<Sharkey> The rain in spain falls mainly on the spaniards.

#1821 +(95)- [X]

<kisama_> i've been quaking so much lately
<kisama_> that when i close my eyes
<kisama_> i see quad damage
<D1> I see naked men.

#1825 +(1113)- [X]

<madthink> what does putting sugar in someones gas tank do
<maff> I heard when you start the engine cinnamon rolls come out
<maff> with frosting and everything
<madthink> i need to get revenge in the worst way
<maff> cinnamon rolls arent really revenge

#1827 +(53)- [X]

(V_Audax) flip da flop da boing floygan
(d-_-b) v_audax has been possessed by the spirit of cosby~!?~@

#1829 +(-3)- [X]

<kisama> fuck english too
<kisama> the lesbian has us playing "mythology bingo"
<kisama> what the fuck is "mythology bingo"
<kisama> and those stuck upppppp ass bitches
<kisama> were getting into it
<kisama> "DAVID AND GOLIATH WERE COOL!"
<kisama> "OH YEAH, CUPID AND PSYCHE LOOK SOOOOOOOOO CUTE IN THE BOOK!"
<kisama> "LIKE, YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS REALLY COOL STORY ABOUT PROMETHEUS! HE GAVE US FIRE, WHAT A SWEET GUY!"

#1831 +(32)- [X]

<ikkenai> ie6 update.nfo
<ikkenai> New Features Found in Micrsoft Internet Explorer 6.0:
<ikkenai> - A bunch of useless shit

#1833 +(164)- [X]

<fileface> can someone help me with my IDENTIFY, i forgot my pass
<fileface> any opers alive?
<cd> me
<cd> type: /quit i am gay
<fileface> Y?
<cd> cos it will fix your password
<cd> it will set it to 'iamanidiot'
»»  quits fileface (Thug4life@c47s127h6.upc.chello.no) (Quit: i am gay «~{Polaris IRC}~» v2.04)

#1835 +(41)- [X]

[09:56] <Thom> I wonder how many words they have for 'pervert'.
[09:56] <Squizzle> None.
[09:56] <Squizzle> The closest is their word for "native", I bet.
[09:57] <Thom> 'hentai'. 'ecchi'.
[09:57] <Squizzle> Those both mean "Japanese man".

#1837 +(5)- [X]

<barkode> you don't even want to be in the same area code as me after indian  food

#1839 +(12)- [X]

<maff> who needs showers when you've got an assortment of feminine products

#1841 +(72)- [X]

<]km[cugar> i tried to make hammer pants out of garbage bags

#1844 +(117)- [X]

<c-rOCK> that was sad though when I said "MAN WHAT IF D1 REALLY DID LOOK LIKE THAT" and hes like "Thats my real picture"
<c-rOCK> i felt pretty bad after that

#1849 +(95)- [X]

<Athena-X> have you ever tried to make a ':|' face in real life? try and do it without looking stupid and/or retarded. it's quite a challenge!

#1851 +(26)- [X]

<skmt> efnet is to a computer nerd what cigarettes are to a heroin addict.
<Digamy> i don't get it
<skmt> Digamy, if you ever come off of a hard-core drug addiction, you will find yourself addicted to cigarettes instead.
<Digamy> oh
* Digamy adds shooting up to his to-do list

#1855 +(130)- [X]

<hoset-> what's the server info for defunkt?
<D\TOX> 65.4.40.157 - port 21 - anonymous
<hoset-> thanks much
<D\TOX> np
<D\TOX> if that doesn't work it's because I gave you your own IP #

#1857 +(78)- [X]

<oktane> whoa. I just took a shit the width and length of my arm. when it splashed down, it hit my ballsack and I had to take a shower again. Im dead serious.

#1860 +(37)- [X]

<DigiGnome> When you recognise most of the links from Portal of Evil because they're on your favourites list, that's the time to start worrying.

#1862 +(-47)- [X]

<Mass> i have a total of * drum roll plz* 83 Units
<kisama> yeah i have 354 units of nigger blood.
<Guilty> Snow is trying to become a true nigger by way of transfusion
<Guilty> Silly gook

#1864 +(161)- [X]

<ToastyGhost> Yo.
* Brentai joyously rapes ToastyGhost.
* ToastyGhost enjoys it also.
<Defcon> Toasty you fuck.
<ToastyGhost> No, Brentai did. I just stood there.

#1867 +(34)- [X]

<mD5> i thought everything on the internet was aol

#1869 +(43)- [X]

<D\TOX> I'm 16% bodyfat
<D\TOX> I have a one pack
<jube_> a keg?

#1890 +(97)- [X]

<Defcon> Heh. I was getting a hair cut the other day with my usual barber, who's this 60 year old vietnam veteran type guy, really uptight and what not. Anyway, he had this TV with the news on, and suddenly they started talking about police who sodomized some hispanic guy with a broom stick. That caused a lot of tension in the barber shop.
<Defcon> "Yeah, so, how about that sodomy? Probably doesn't feel too good." "Nope. Can't imagine it does."

#1897 +(212)- [X]

<gaspumpXP> Man... what kind of RPG is this?  It won't let me rape the sheep...

#1899 +(40)- [X]

[Amanda_] No way, Chris, I had real food for dinner
[`michael] squirrels
[Amanda_] dude
[Amanda_] Squirrel is good

#1902 +(31)- [X]

<Lord_Cie> CNN (Boca Raton, FL) A new report has OJ Simpson quoted as saying that he "will vow to search for the real terrorists"

#1905 +(159)- [X]

<Fustard> oh good god
<Fustard> i was just thinking of something to myself
<Fustard> and out loud i said
<Fustard> 'laugh out loud'
<Fustard> instead of actually laughing.

#1908 +(79)- [X]

<timmo> they need to make a 41oz
<timmo> so you can poor 1 oz to the dead homies
<timmo> and drink the 40

#1910 +(13)- [X]

(phosphor) run nekid through new york screaming "my clothes were on flight 11"

#1912 +(44)- [X]

<D\TOX> I just got an e-mail about setting up a 3some
<D\TOX> MSN WHORES
<vermifuge> DO IT DOUG
<D\TOX> they might wonder where "Steve" is when a 30 year old web developer shows up and says "Let's fuck"

#1914 +(0)- [X]

<_xu> does your knees feel tired the day after you masturbate or have sex?

#1917 +(6)- [X]

<Guilty> Are you suggesting that the pentagon was hit by a space shit and to cover it up the government stages a plane hijacking
<kisama> yeah, and the twin towers were never there either.
<peng> yes
<peng> the government makes up an airplane
<peng> with a passenger list and all
<peng> to coincide with the WTC
<kisama> then dick cheney sticks a finger up gwb's ass
<peng> this shit goes deep man
<kisama> and says "it's gonna be ok, baby bush, it's alright."
<kisama> "have a teddy bear"
<kisama> and osama bin laden sits down and discusses pokemon with the president over tea and crumpets.

#1931 +(81)- [X]

<luciddrms> boy irc is like a common link to everything fucked up on the internet

#1935 +(67)- [X]

::: .topic@11.06a> DogGoBoom in #p-raves; I'm so horny the crack of dawn had better be careful around me

#1937 +(20)- [X]

<opie-x> white people surf the net .. black people cruise the net

#1941 +(40)- [X]

<Bahamut0> who cares about albany? stupid europeans

#1943 +(249)- [X]

<ETP> heh
* Tocool is very confused
<ETP> tocool: so am I, but the key is to just say 'heh' so people think you understand
<Tocool> yea but
<Tocool> ...
<Tocool> heh

#1945 +(0)- [X]

<infinity> IT'S AN EAST COAST WEST COAST THANG..BEEEEYOTCH!
<al-x> east coast west coast for inf = russia and france
<infinity> stfu asswipe

#1950 +(114)- [X]

<Kazz> Wait a minute... something about this is a little... odd...
<Kazz> I believe this woman has more than the recommended amount of penises.
<Brentai> My type of woman.

#1955 +(84)- [X]

<Chis> anyone have any files in digital format?

#1963 +(1172)- [X]

::: .enter@6.53p> _YOU (harpeet@149.99.97.190)
~ _YOU HAVE RECEIVED A FATAL ERROR, PRESS ALT + F4 TO REPAIR THIS IMMEDIATELY
::: .signoff@6.53p> _YOU (harpeet@149.99.97.190); ...
::: .signoff@6.53p> BlueBold (me@tnt01dla202.winnipeg.escape.ca); Leaving
::: .signoff@6.53p> ic3d (ic3d@64-59-140-156.ivideon.com); Leaving
::: .signoff@6.53p> CoolJeff4 (LoKv70@anolas01-p88.mts.net); Leaving

#1967 +(96)- [X]

<JDigital> It's official: Nostradamus was a stoner.
<JDigital> His name wasn't even Nostradamus. It was Michel du Nostredame
<JDigital> Nostradamus was just his IRC nick

#1970 +(59)- [X]

<D1> but I wish I lived in the same house with 30 women.
* DooD rushes out to sue some sororities to get in
<kisama_> women are not sex objects, women are psychotic freaks
<kisama_> expect to take a six digit number if you want to go to the bathroom
<kisama_> and if you want to eat, make sure you have a lot of g's
<kisama_> ahh, like your closets filled with clutter?
<kisama_> want people to not stay out of your room?
<kisama_> maybe you'd like your bathroom closet being full of toilet paper and tampons?
<kisama_> yeah, think about that before you go out and say you want to live with 30 women

#1973 +(7)- [X]

<|steve|> you know whats sick
<|steve|> on every IRC network,
<|steve|> theres a channel called #binladen packed with people
<|steve|> and #wtc
<|steve|> opportunists

#1975 +(285)- [X]

<c-rock> Whatever happened to sex drugs and rock n roll? Now we just have aids crack and techno.

#1977 +(-16)- [X]

*** Now talking in #bearcave
*** Topic is 'This is NOT a warez channel....'

#1979 +(163)- [X]

(PrimoPyro) sometimes I talk on the phone when im on the crapper =)
(PrimoPyro) *bloop*
(PrimoPyro) "what was that?"
(PrimoPyro) ahh.. I dropped an ice cube in my drink...

#1981 +(-8)- [X]

<thoraxe> i just deleted a girl from my buddy list because her pussy smells

#1983 +(24)- [X]

<JDigital> Sounds like a really, really kool hentai webcomic.
<Subvillain> Not a webcomic, a paper manga.
<JDigital> Manga + scanner = webcomic. DYS?

#1987 +(107)- [X]

<dr\gonzo> dance like nobodys watching
<dr\gonzo> work like you don't need the money
<dr\gonzo> jack off like nobody's home

#1989 +(39)- [X]

<Digested> uh
<Digested> why were we +i?
<DooD> because shapht was naked
<DooD> and he didnt want someone to accidentally walk in on him

#1993 +(17)- [X]

<Digested> yeah, the chicken sandwiches are just right by default
<Digested> so you don't have to customize or mess around with config files in vi
<Digested> that config files thing is going into the quotes, isn't it :/
<Guilty> I wont submit it if you purge the database of nerdb5

#2007 +(107)- [X]

(adnama) I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

#2011 +(24)- [X]

<Speef> man
<Speef> I have some killer gas
<matts> go to the terrorists... they'll need your help

#2014 +(83)- [X]

<BonGoaT> i think Bush played counterstrike too much

#2016 +(81)- [X]

(pedxing) it takes twenty-five muscles to frown, and only twelve to punch some wiseass in the mouth.

#2019 +(22)- [X]

<Schrieks> in a moment of inspiration whilst dining at the Y.....
<Schrieks> I spread her and said "SEGA"
<Schrieks> this was back in 94

#2024 +(81)- [X]

<Lee-Ham> Bush is a raging imbecile. It's times like this I wish I could live on the moon and take potshots at Earth with a potato gun.

#2026 +(67)- [X]

<DMC[hi]> IF i had a nickel for everytime a black man tried to have sex with me.... i could have built a house made out of nickels in the middle of the woods to secretly masturbate about black men having sex with me

#2028 +(-3)- [X]

<_Bas> how come cars only have 4/5 gears?
<_Bas> if they make like overdrive on an overdrive
<_Bas> would you get much much gas mileage?

#2034 +(84)- [X]

<Brentai> ...you guys realize that this is the least I've ever laughed.  I'm anti-laughing.
<FoxieMoxie> You're anti-laughing? Good, I hope your lungs implode then.

#2039 +(17)- [X]

<hypr> joker is playing all his vinyl from 1998
<hypr> heh
<hypr> or somthing
<hypr> old ;P
<caspuh> hah
<caspuh> 98?
<caspuh> they had vinyal then?

#2046 +(4)- [X]

<train> i'm on prison net
<train> that still works
<Hooblah> wtf
<Hooblah> prison?
<Hooblah> as in locked up n shit?
<Zebracake> heh!
<Zebracake> no, irc.prison.net

#2048 +(30)- [X]

<Birdzii> i've got this fucked rash all over my body
<Morbii> heh
* Slander takes a step back from birdsigh
<Birdzii> heh
<Birdzii> sore throat + rash
<Morbii maybe you're allergic to masturbation
<Morbii> jkjk ;P
<Birdzii> I would have been dead long ago then

#2050 +(1)- [X]

<B_Spears> Jimmy Buffet? aww
<Slander> Jimmy rocks man
<Ferney> heh
<B_Spears> yeah, in a rocking chair ;)

#2052 +(69)- [X]

* Arsentia pets his cable modem 
* [Toby] fwaps Arsentia. Come to Kansas, the land of tin cups and string. 
* PresWRK cuts Arse's modem 
* Arsentia cuts Toby's string 
*** Quits: [Toby] (...) 
<Arsentia> Hey! It actually worked! :) 
<[Toby]> Because of you, I had to retie the string. 
<[Toby]> Schmuck. 
<[Toby]> :)

#2056 +(267)- [X]

<Dr_zapp> sek: you find the hex adress? 
<Sekmu> yes. 
<Dr_zapp> and it is....? 
*** Quits: Paco- (irc.best.net *.blackened.com) 
*** Quits: Nytefall (irc.best.net *.blackened.com) 
*** Quits: PyroGX (irc.best.net *.blackened.com) 
*** Quits: liljerk (irc.best.net *.blackened.com) 
*** Quits: Karash (irc.best.net *.blackened.com) 
*** Quits: _Ender_ (irc.best.net *.blackened.com) 
*** Quits: PyroPimp (irc.best.net *.blackened.com) 
*** Quits: Sekmu (irc.best.net *.blackened.com) 
<Arsentia> This is like when the informer is about to tell the detective the identity of the murderer, and then he gets shot. :)

#2062 +(94)- [X]

<Arsentia> ARRRRRRRGH
<Arsentia> I just lost the fucking picture on my Chem lab!
<Merl> hehehehehe
<Merl> neeeener neeeener ;-)
[Time Passes]
<Merl> FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
<Merl> I just lost my whole fucking ESSAY i wrote this weekend
<Merl> DAMN MS WORD SHIT
<Assasin> wait
<Assasin> Wait a second.
<Assasin> Was it you who was laughing at Arse?

#2067 +(73)- [X]

<tobes> Have fun at work? ;)
<Morbii> not particularly ;)
<Morbii> been back home a few hours tho
<Morbii> anything related to the word "work" isn't fun generally :P
<Morbii> pornstars may see things differently, but I wouldn't know
<Morbii> heh!
<tobes> Actually, that would probably get to be a pain in the ass.

#2069 +(199)- [X]

<Daz-D3> wanna see somethin funny ld?
<LordDeath> No. Please pull your pants back up.

#2080 +(-1)- [X]

<kay|oss> i am at work
<epp> hehe.. that's not the worst place to be
<epp> (if there's no airplanes around)

#2082 +(154)- [X]

<Brentai> Michael who?
<TonsOfFun-MasterToSmallGirls> J. Fox, Brent.
<Brentai> Oh, he's only mostly dead.
<Thom> Hutchence. An Australian rock star of little talent.
<Thom> Died having a wank.
<Brentai> Poor guy.
<Thom> Whilst hanging off've the back of a door by his tie.
<DigiGnome> His last words were "OH GOD! I'm COMING!" He never knew how right he was.

#2085 +(34)- [X]

[rancid_mf] wow i need to be a better typer i dont know what is going on
(|Chris) typist*
[rancid_mf] ok im am idiot too

#2088 +(23)- [X]

{<DMC[m1ls]>} you might as well shove a giant yellow penis in to your dishwasher and turn it on then run around your dining room table 3 times screaming about how your children are going to be shaped like triangles when they pop out of your wifes pyramid shaped pussy

#2091 +(75)- [X]

<DMC[mav2]> human/animal hair can be stuffed inside panty hose and used to suck up oil out from an oil spill
<DMC[mav2]> did you faggots know that

#2094 +(49)- [X]

<Miss_RPM> they used to say i was named after some chick dad saw in a dirty magazine..

#2096 +(24)- [X]

(therap|st) IMPERIAL PARKING is seeking a JUNIOR FIELD AUDITOR. This full time position will require a self starter who has their own car and analytical mind with an eye for detail. Interested applicants please fax resume to 943-XXXX attn: Operations Manager.
(therap|st) would that mean id be the bastard who drives around and gets people towed?
(Cid-Away) be like "your hawt and illegally parked i think somthing can be arranged" :)
(Dane_) tow pimp
(Cid-Away) you can tell if someone is hawt by the way tehre illegally parked
(therap|st) those guys must think im hella hot
(therap|st) cause i park like shit

#2098 +(140)- [X]

<digidug> i love it when geeks take every chance they get to brag about their hardware
<digidug> so i was lying in my bed and my DUAL ATHLON 2GHZ SERVER was keeping me awake with its 5 SUPER HIGH THROUGHPUT FANS so i went downstairs and played a SPECIAL SUPER BETA VERSION OF QUAKE 3 (FOR WHICH I AM A BETA TESTER) on my PLEXIGLASS-COVERED TRANSPARENT TOWER WITH FIVE INTEL PENTIUM 4'S RUNNING A CUSTOMIZED VERSION OF LINUX
<digidug> so i didn't get much sleep last night

#2102 +(117)- [X]

<LegendZ28> I remember when I was a kid and I was at my friends house, my friends big brother ran into the room with a huge turd in his hand and was like "LOOK HOW HUGE THIS IS!"

#2105 +(30)- [X]

<RockShox> greddy is pretty high quality stuff
<RockShox> i prefer apexi exhausts tho
<ocx> for cars?
<RockShox> no for bicycles

#2107 +(73)- [X]

<SPD-DMN> yo theres a fucking swat team on the road accross from me
<SPD-DMN> im going to check it out
<RockShox> SPD-DMN will be back in 10 to 20

#2110 +(65)- [X]

<RaMTuFF> i like my women like i like my coffee
<RaMTuFF> quiet !

#2113 +(21)- [X]

<Tristan> Anyone thinks I should trade my '00 VW Cabrio for '01 Honda Prelude?
<tigeraid> at least the Prelude has about 90% less homosexual factor
<Rydawg> tristan, do you like guys?
<Rydawg> how do you shift gears when your wrist is so freakin limp?

#2115 +(26)- [X]

<opivy-z28> I'm being totally serious... do any of you ever see like a 9-12 yr old girl and think she has nice legs
<opivy-z28> i do...and i wonder if thats normal

#2117 +(3)- [X]

<Tim_K> when you say 6" do you mean 6.00" or the 5.70" rods?
<spazzer> tim
<spazzer> we mean
<spazzer> rods that are 6 inches long
<spazzer> not 6" rods that are 5.7" long
<spazzer> but 6" rods that are 6" long
<Tim_K> spazzer heh.. well.. 6 = 5.7 rounded ;)

#2119 +(28)- [X]

<krayons> 95% of the girls at rutgers university in new jersey
<krayons> have stds
<killspree> haha
<killspree> no way
<kara> bullshit man
<killspree> no wonder their basketball and football teams suck so bad
<krayons> its not bullshit
<VeRrUcKt> lol
<killspree> the players are running around in pain

#2123 +(49)- [X]

<CoderMan> kritical, you are dumber than a dead rock
<matts> dead rock
<matts> umm
<matts> CoderMan news flash
<matts> rocks can't live
<matts> :\

#2128 +(45)- [X]

<stretch> !seen tits
* Trivial_ has never seen tits. Sorry!

#2132 +(255)- [X]

<DigiGnome> doesn't play properly. The White Stripes one.
<Thom> Ach. Dang.
<DigiGnome> Unless it's MEANT to sound like a cat trying to shit wasps through a sewn up asshole.
<puchiko> It is.
<DigiGnome> Ah. A Slipknot cover, then.

#2140 +(56)- [X]

<torque--> i can fart out loud in an internet cafe because everyones wearing headphones

#2142 +(171)- [X]

<mEsHmAn> how do i set myself as away?
<mEsHmAn> in mIRC
*** theForger sets mode: +b *!*@host62-7-101-176.btinternet.com
*** mEsHmAn was kicked by theForger (mEsHmAn is away)

#2148 +(80)- [X]

<Kazz> I will only baby talk to my kid.
<Kazz> Even when he's 40.
<JDigital> hee
<Kazz> "How's my cutest little sweet baby pie pumpkinheeeead?"
<Kazz> "Fuck off, dad."
<Lee-Ham> Issum wiggle umpkins?
* Silkenray laughs
<Kashan> I'm going to teach my kid the wrong words

#2150 +(29)- [X]

* Derek_ thinks costa ricans are wierd
<matts> I think people who spell weird "wierd" are weird

#2157 +(47)- [X]

[16:18] <novocain> shit its 4:20
[16:19] *** THC_420 (VR66@24.102.63.76) has joined #winprog

#2160 +(34)- [X]

<TheMyst> hey, anyone here use a radar detector?
<Customz> yes why myst?
<Customz> i only use it so i know when to stash the blunt
<Customz> fuck speeding

#2162 +(26)- [X]

<saint_> and i'm not nasty. i'm actually not that big of a pedophile

#2166 +(93)- [X]

<grey> wow
<grey> i didn't realise afghanistan had enough infrastructure for two nights' worth of air attacks

#2168 +(16)- [X]

<Miko> hey i don't remember them dropping food on NYC when they crashed into the WTC

#2172 +(283)- [X]

<refugee> man
<refugee> you cant cancel an AOL subscription online
<dwai> try to do it over the phone
<refugee> and they want your screenname when you cancel
<refugee> so I gotta be like "yeah, my screenname is SIZZLINGCROTCH"

#2176 +(26)- [X]

<Goemon> There is no good mp3 trading programs now.
<maff> sure there are
<maff> ftp.
<Goemon> I tried that.\
<Goemon> In order to get name/password I had to sign up for porn.

#2178 +(-3)- [X]

<KidHype> <Razoola> Honey, they are picking on me again on the rg boards
<KidHype> <Razoolas wife> Well i never...i will tell them how awesome you are and that will show them
<KidHype> <Razoola> thanks hun, you rock *sniff*

#2180 +(78)- [X]

(`KGB) I'm going to #jamaica I've always wanted to visit

#2188 +(26)- [X]

<AlmtyBob> god my ball-sweat smells good
<AlmtyBob> too bad I have a cold 8(
<AlmtyBob> can hardly smell it
<skmt> yeah.
<skmt> ball sweat has a weird smell.
<SD-Washu> mine fucking stinks
<AlmtyBob> it's like coffee though
<AlmtyBob> doesn't taste as good as it smells
<mdl> AlmtyBob: dude
<mdl> you taste your nutsaq sweat?
<skmt> you only need to sniff your hand after you beat it, fool.
<AlmtyBob> lets just say it's a good thing my cum smells bad

#2200 +(127)- [X]

<D\TOX> my wife pushed from 2-4 pm and then they said "fuck it" and got the foreceps and all that fun stuff
<D\TOX> but they gave her an episiotimy
<D\TOX> the doc took out these scissors with teeth and cut the skin between her vagina and anus
<CoMBo> so when she takes a shit, it can leak into her cunt now?
<D\TOX> no, I don't know what it's like in canada, but they stiched her up afterwards
<D\TOX> they didn't give her some timbits and say "go back to your igloo"

#2203 +(176)- [X]

<kritical> the doctor made me piss in a cup and i had wacked off like an hour earlier...he then walks in and tells me i need to cut back a bit on masturbating..im like, "WTF"

#2208 +(23)- [X]

<Rico> I suppose. I wouldn't mind being that guy that makes it with all the Scouts.
<DigiGnome> Except you'd be ridiculously tired at the end of it, and if you don't please them you get CRESCENT BEEEEEAM'ed.
<Rico> Yeah, but what a way to go...
<Kayma> Uh oh, attacked with pink sugar hearts, blarg im dead.
<DigiGnome> You know exactly where they'd hang the wreath, too.

#2212 +(9)- [X]

<Pr3ttyF1y> if i'm going to copy dvd's onto cdrs, i atleast want to make sure they send me pills that make my wang and boobs bigger too along with my liquid viagra for 72hr straight erections
<Pr3ttyF1y> i mean, if the scam can't even promise that, why buy into it :)

#2216 +(30)- [X]

--- Topic for #celebs-n-models is <@YoGuRT_> beer just had his first Duck Job..how ya feel? <@Beercaps> same as before
<Digested> heh
<Digested> wtf is a duckjob?
<Beercaps> its bj from julia roberts

#2219 +(102)- [X]

<SD-Washu> i still love the msg i got on my voicemail earlier
<SD-Washu> that was l33t
<biafra> what
<SD-Washu> oh my voicemail msg is in japanese
<SD-Washu> and someone called and the only thing i heard was "what the fuc...."
<SD-Washu> followed by *click*

#2222 +(137)- [X]

<Turing_> this is going to sound very gay, but we were watching the discovery channel today at work where there were these sort of african olympics in a tribe when a male reaches mating age
<Turing_> anyways...the guy had to be nude and do this relay on a balance beem to appease some god
<kunio> HAW
<Turing_> it was strange because even flacid he had a penis the size of the empire state building
<orestes--> gah
<dab[afk]> ugh
<Turing_> it was mesmorizing, my secretary kept in rythym to its bobbing
<Turing_> lol
<Turing_> I felt terribly inadequate
<Turing_> I hate the discovery channel

#2225 +(-2)- [X]

<Guilty> http://www.hotornot.com/r/?emid=NQK8OR
<Guilty> "Bi sexual"
<Guilty> That means slutty

#2231 +(0)- [X]

<`michael> where's snow
<var> dunno mike
<var> jerking off to japanese scat while listening to horrid ddr music
<var> is my best guess

#2235 +(-6)- [X]

<spid0r> my friend had #taliban for awhile...fuckin ragheads even get owned on efnet

#2238 +(74)- [X]

<DrWoody> List of things I have accomplished today:
<DrWoody> ...
<DrWoody> ...
<DrWoody> That is all.

#2241 +(-1)- [X]

<notBel> Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

#2244 +(98)- [X]

<Asmodee`> ibm said they were investing 1 billion $ into open source projects
<DAL9000> Asmodee`: do you know what happens when you invest money in opensource projects?
<DAL9000> NOTHING! it buys the coders some beer, nachos, and porn to watch instead of coding.

#2252 +(18)- [X]

<neekola> i should do that
<neekola> be like
<neekola> yo buy my dirty underwear
<neekola> 40$ a piece
<neekola> use the money to buy more underwear
<neekola> i could be an entrepreneur

#2261 +(51)- [X]

<Saffio> I went to microsoft sales training
<Saffio> they gave it to me there [windows XP]
<eldee> Saffio: so did i.. they gave me a laptop case/bookbag thing and office XP pro :)
<eldee> Saffio: the laptop case is sweet... but it has "microsoft licensing agent" embroidered on the back of it... im worried if i wear it in public, i'll get assassinated
<kable> should have told them "no thanks, i downloaded the pro version"

#2266 +(304)- [X]

<Dregan> 3y3 4m l33t h4x0r
<Dregan> j0! 3y3 4m t4lking to j00!
<Dregan> fux0red 5cr1pt k1dd13.
<Dregan>    -"l33t h41ku"

#2269 +(37)- [X]

<kisama_> sequenced aantoehr dj snow taracck
<kisama_> TRIZACK WILL BE UPLOADED IN 1:10
<Amanda`> ...but no one will listen to it in a million years

#2271 +(-11)- [X]

<gloOmer> I JUST LOOKED AT NUDE MARKY MARK PICTURES TO TEST IF I WAS GAY
<gloOmer> AND I DIDNT GET A BONER
<gloOmer> RAPED

#2278 +(-2)- [X]

<daisu> [23:05] <@Schrieks> and i don't relate to japanese guys in pr0n
<daisu> [23:05] <@Schrieks> their willies are tiny
<daisu> This is so garrishly true
<daisu> I think that's why there are so many asian people
<daisu> sperm has less length to travel

#2290 +(126)- [X]

<eldee> finding wiring diagrams on the web isnt fun at all
<eldee> because.. you really dont find any wiring diagrams
<eldee> just porn.. how wiring diagrams and porn can be confused in a search engine, i've yet to discover

#2295 +(0)- [X]

[11:03] *** Doc|Uni (sdf@sympatex.gotadsl.co.uk) Quit (Support W.O.R.K - Women Off Roads Campaign (c) Doc'99)

#2298 +(38)- [X]

<Chis> how do you permaterm an aol account assuming you have the password?
<Chis> to an account
<Chis> just incase someone would want to theoretically do this

#2301 +(-2)- [X]

<ricochet> cubicsrube: if any MAJOR problems ever occur with winxp .. it will be PURELY hardware based.. ie. it has NOTHING to do with the operating system

#2307 +(36)- [X]

<SyL> and I'm trying to get some work done, and I'm watching the keoki musicvideo and they have all these women that look like that they were in the same room at Rainbow Brite when she exploded and couldn't get all the color off and they're all kissing and stuff, and it's just "distracting" to say the least...

#2310 +(325)- [X]

<CYBORG> who is an amateur of SAILING ? message me..
<CYBORG> i am planning my most incredible experience... soon......
<CYBORG> i need brave partener....
<CYBORK> for wild sea adventure........

#2316 +(30)- [X]

<sceptre70> anybody here know how i can get laid or eat out a pussy without spending money msg me

#2321 +(52)- [X]

<delysid-x> the only urine test they'll get out of me is a TASTE TEST

#2325 +(66)- [X]

<Amanda`> We ran out of toilet paper so I had to use coffee filters...

#2328 +(259)- [X]

<TeamsterX> man watching 6 MSCE's around a sun box, looks alot like the opening scene's of 2001:space odyssey and the monkey's with the monolith

#2330 +(23)- [X]

[13:18] *** BombScare (BombScare@XDDD.10x.bro) has joined #phear
[13:18] <BombScare> woo...lets see how long my cable lasts today
[13:22] *** BombScare (BombScare@XDDD.10x.bro) Quit (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
[13:23] *** BombScare (BombScare@XDDD.10x.bro) has joined #phear
[13:23] <LPC> new record
[13:23] <LPC> 4 minutes

#2335 +(-44)- [X]

<sM3GGy> What does the KU KLUX KLAN have in common with anabolic steroids?
<sM3GGy> They both make niggers run like fuck.

#2338 +(163)- [X]

* snag giggles
<eldee> for a fat guy you giggle alot
<eldee> or are you misspelling jiggle?

#2341 +(52)- [X]

<CoMBo> <Robbin> Jesse Jackson should be president
<Robbin> unlike you lusers, i have somewhere to be on friday night
<CoMBo> yeah popeyes
<_jube> shift starts 9

#2345 +(62)- [X]

* scotteh sends a letter to mister bin ladem... with some white power in it
<arto> white power????
<arto> YOU RACIST
* goofie rolls her eyes
<scotteh> POWDER!$!@@

#2351 +(64)- [X]

<Horizon> Harhar! I get a paper that says "Congradulations, you are less of an idiot now."
<Morbii> does it have a small "but you're still canadian" attached to an asterisk or something too?
<Morbii> :P

#2354 +(46)- [X]

(nexxai) you don't know pain until you try and compile eggdrop on a 486
(nexxai) each line goes by, and you cheer because you weren't sure if it had frozen or not D;

#2360 +(96)- [X]

(Matt^^^) I got an A+ in home ec, cuz I helped marinate the teacher's fish, if you know what I mean

#2366 +(311)- [X]

<asmcoded> anal sex is like hacking
<asmcoded> you go in through the backdoor and hope you dont meet a log

#2369 +(-2)- [X]

<_joker^> well you cant spoof on efnet
<_joker^> i know that much
<schmoe> again you make yourself look like a newb
<schmoe> yes u can
<schmoe> i wont show you though

#2373 +(131)- [X]

* JosephKer on 2.4.14
<Snarf> exciting ;>
<JosephKer> yup! I got my kernel down to like 600k though
<Snarf> nice ;>
<^xman^> kernels below 1 mb are for pussies
<^xman^> kernels over 2 mb are for men
<JosephKer> hehe
<JosephKer> It's not how BIG your kernel is, it's how you use it!
<BombScare> sure...thats why girls always laugh at you when you pull out your kernel
<JosephKer> Then I set them straight with a good fsck'ing

#2375 +(57)- [X]

(moimau) my net would make your net reverse compile itself, tar.gz itself
(moimau) and upload it back to the server it came from.
(moimau) so sit down.

#2378 +(128)- [X]

(rageboy) ok let me give you a hypothetical situation
(rageboy) and you tell me if you would be mad
(rageboy) you are having a house party..
(rageboy) and you come home.. everyone is still partying
(rageboy) and one of your friends is having sex on your bathroom sink
(rageboy) would you kick him outta your house?
(vrs) is he a good friend
(vrs) ?
(rageboy) yeah
(vrs) do you like the girl?
(rageboy) no no..
(rageboy) i was the one fucking

#2381 +(31)- [X]

<Spyre-> the beers just sit there, silently staring, and mocking the mistakes my animal mind makes sometimes

#2385 +(90)- [X]

<Kazz> Are you coming on to me?
<Dregan> With a spelling change.
<Dregan> And perhaps without the 'to'.

#2391 +(-5)- [X]

<maff> you're such a sarcastabitch brett
<timmo`> if by sarcastic you mean sexy, then yes.

#2394 +(84)- [X]

<McMoo> but then last year the sermon like a week before christmas was like 'CHRISTMAS ISN'T ABOUT PRESENTS - OUR ONE TRUE PRESENT IS JESUS CHRIST!!!'
<McMoo> my dad didn't even get my mom anything
<McMoo> she was pissed.

#2398 +(-10)- [X]

<HF|Chemical_X> shaddup canadian
<HF|Chemical_X> everybody knows that your country and france share one bar of soap a year.

#2402 +(53)- [X]

<intra> I want to propose to my wife with a giant foam #1 finger instead of a ring.

#2404 +(57)- [X]

<BlackDeth> did you know i'm sitting on my toilet right now
<BlackDeth> taking a crap
<myhero> :L
<BlackDeth> i have been this whole conversation
<BlackDeth> brb wiping
*** myhero changes topic to '<BlackDeth> brb wiping'
<SD-Washu> erm k thats just wrong
<SD-Washu> you're not supposed to irc or call ppl from teh fucking bathroom
<SD-Washu> i dont fucking care if you are joking
<ryo-ohki> I do it all the time. :/
<BlackDeth> i'm back on the couch
<BlackDeth> i dont talk to people on the phone when i'm on the toilet
<BlackDeth> because they can hear the gruesome details

#2410 +(309)- [X]

(cooey) my cat eats meat. my cat eats timbits. my cat eats celery. my cat eats my weed. my cat eats bits of paper and hair that look like food. my cat =wont= eat a piece of a burger out of a big mac.
(cooey) i should learn from my cat.

#2413 +(59)- [X]

<myhero> I think this is what I wanted to say, or something like this
<myhero> how about making a holiday the opposite of thanksgiving
<myhero> where your a bitch and hate everything in the world for one day
<myhero> that's what I did today
<myhero> it felt great
<Tik-Tok> that doesn't need to be a holiday
<Tik-Tok> most people are like that day to day
<myhero> yeah maybe
<myhero> well on this holiday, how about people try just a little bit harder to hate people
<myhero> ya know, in the spirit of the holiday
<myhero> hate people a little bit more

#2415 +(58)- [X]

<Dude> did ya hear poland bought 5000 septic tanks?
<DatDawg> why?
<Dude> as soon as the figure out how to drive them there invading russia

#2425 +(-4)- [X]

<gb> tip of penis stuck to underwear after jackin

#2428 +(52)- [X]

<Snag> *beep*beep*
<Steil> snag you set off the gaydar again didnt you???
<Snag> funny
<Snag> :|

#2435 +(37)- [X]

<Skates> DOS was my favorite operating system, overall
<Skates> it was cool because it took skill to use it

#2441 +(45)- [X]

<shadyk> i think ill go insert some animals in my rectum and drink some of my own urine and take the purity test again

#2446 +(74)- [X]

*** blahblahb (Dingdong@h24-207-55-238.dlt.dccnet.com) has joined #gamedev
<blahblahb> !list
*** blahblahb (Dingdong@h24-207-55-238.dlt.dccnet.com) has left #gamedev
<DAL9000> it was a driveby !list'ing

#2452 +(73)- [X]

<|Z|e|N|> A nick name is like a wife. You get bored with it but cant really change it, and if anyone else nicks it then theyre dead

#2457 +(13)- [X]

<l0wkey> im getting hemorrhoids, from sitting on my butt all day ircing... i should sue Khaled

#2461 +(115)- [X]

<pSa007> what is the difference between nintendo64 and commodore64?

#2465 +(6)- [X]

* bobf says his nick really means battery operated boyfriend

#2468 +(37)- [X]

<god4ever> I had sex before, just never with a person

#2470 +(645)- [X]

<Fade_> heh, truent, you have a big fat dick up my ass 
<Fade_> err your ass

#2472 +(92)- [X]

<ArAgOn__> Dyckert: If your parents got divorced, would they still be cousins?

#2474 +(31)- [X]

<Server_X> i need to take my modem out tonight 
<Server_X> is it true that you have to wax your modem if it is a 56k once every month?

#2479 +(108)- [X]

<Screwy> I went on a 30-day diet
<Screwy> and lost 30 days

#2482 +(73)- [X]

<althea> i was fucked on tranquilizers
<althea> fucked up i mean

#2485 +(-3)- [X]

<Luco13> If we lose Napster...I will lose my mp3's??"

#2489 +(97)- [X]

<pesert> Command line?
<pesert> Is that like a special cable?

#2495 +(46)- [X]

<CompGod> If crime doesn't pay, is my job illegal?

#2497 +(21)- [X]

<PurplHaze> marriage doesn't mean you own me
<CaptCavmn> no, just the genitals

#2499 +(202)- [X]

<Fly_kEaT> ok so what time now in russia?
<amsea_> 17:06
<Fly_kEaT> am or pm?

#2501 +(77)- [X]

<FuseGirl> life is like a toilet roll, when it's near the end, you panic

#2504 +(28)- [X]

<iRalph> i'm not a cunt
<iRalph> although...
<iRalph> you are what you eat

#2507 +(309)- [X]

<briansex> i am sliding my hand up your leg what do u do?
<sully> I tell you I'm a guy?

#2512 +(184)- [X]

<`michael> pink floyd - wish you were here is the best goddamn song
<w3nisT> i disagree while it is a very good song I think the donkey kong theme song is better

#2515 +(291)- [X]

<ckx> hrm does anybody else ever think "yep... the internet... vast information and opportunities at my disposal..."
<ckx> and then just sit at the search engine
<ckx> :/

#2517 +(32)- [X]

<hye> sex caffeine and computing power
<tia> hehe
<hye> the trinity

#2523 +(204)- [X]

<berzerk0r> i wrote a rap about my ex girlfriend ready:
<berzerk0r> You're a cunt.
<merkaba> thats pretty good berz
<berzerk0r> i like it
<MadHatter> it doesn't even rhyme

#2535 +(25)- [X]

<gloone> seriously, i can watch porn for like 500 hours straight and still not get bored..
<gloone> without jax0ring or anything..
<gloone> there's something wrong with me :|

#2539 +(37)- [X]

(eowzeiaow) do you gotta best friend that's not your ex?
(metalfrog) yeah
(metalfrog) he lives with my ex

#2544 +(76)- [X]

<bunni> your dick is small!!!
<bunni> i can't even see it!!!
<monkey> because i am girl!!!!

#2546 +(52)- [X]

<wilylojik> you ever get that "not so fresh" feeling?
<immi> wilylojik like after i cum on my balls
<immi> ?
<wilylojik> like after you've been running windows for 6 months
<wilylojik> which I suppose, yes, is like after you cum on your balls immi

#2550 +(195)- [X]

<limited7> i have for(n = 1; n < 99; n = n /2) why is it loopin forever?

#2552 +(58)- [X]

<circle> one place was offering like $2500 if u let them cut off a toe and re-attach it
<McMoo> that's excellent
<circle> no kidding, i'd be like, "do all 10"

#2555 +(107)- [X]

<@SYch0> fuck
<@SYch0> this is gonna be harder than i thought
<@BlackDeth> are you looking for your penis again

#2557 +(30)- [X]

<cugar`class> as i was walking from my car through the parking lot
<cugar`class> there was this big black guy talking to this girl
<cugar`class> and all the sudden
<cugar`class> he makes a gun hand motion pointing at her "dome" and he yells "GIMME YO NUMBA BITCH"

#2559 +(173)- [X]

<gb> BlackDeth: have you ever tasted your own jizz?
<BlackDeth> no
<BlackDeth> or anybody elses jizz for that matter
<BlackDeth> i've shot jizz in my eye
<BlackDeth> but i wasn't aiming
<BlackDeth> so i dont feel as bad
<gb> sure you werent
<BlackDeth> no i mean there was somebody else at the controls
<blazemore> did he apologize

#2563 +(216)- [X]

<DAL9000> if you ever feel dumb
<DAL9000> look at tasmboy
<DAL9000> and you'll feel better.
* logosmani looks
<Rud0lf> heh
<TasmBoy> its not working
<DAL9000> because you're you.
<DAL9000> looking at yourself would throw you into a recursive loop of stupidity.

#2566 +(25)- [X]

<timmo> if aol has ever taught me anything its the alt+ codes
<timmo> MACRO SKILLZ FO LYPHE

#2570 +(59)- [X]

<D1> snow, our final is to write a "funny" linux story and put in linux concepts.
<Amanda`> "Little Kernel's First Upgrade"

#2574 +(81)- [X]

<blazemore> i don't even know who the beatles are
<blazemore> except for jay leno and that other guy that just died

#2576 +(45)- [X]

<dregan> Speaking of which, I got myself a new girlfriend.
<dregan> And she has a bigger dick than my last boyfriend.
<dregan> Skillz.

#2580 +(1)- [X]

<salaman> Tzuri3l: hehe, there's a reason I charge $450/hr you know :)
<M5sedan_> wow, you must give really good head to charge that much ;)
<salaman> M5sedan: want to try? 10 hour minimum , and no pull-back policy ... 50% upfront ... got the money?
<M5sedan_> no pull-back policy = you swallow? ;)
<salaman> M5sedan_: yes, and also means If you come, I still charge you the 10hrs :) ... LOL

#2585 +(92)- [X]

<Lepper_> didn't reppy say he fucked a banana peel once
<wild-> Lepper_: that was me
<wild-> u heat it in the microwave
<SYch0> wtf

#2587 +(-3)- [X]

*** Joins: mxman (68gmc910@hsdb-sktn-248-25.sasknet.sk.ca)
<mxman> wtf
<mxman> WHO SHUT OFF MY COMPUTER :(

#2590 +(102)- [X]

<Legind> I cant remember my earliest memory

#2596 +(45)- [X]

<jstepka> there is nothing about you a complete personality change couldn’t fix.

#2602 +(-1)- [X]

<shagie> srt.. he would sit at his table, scratching his scalp and make a HUGE PILE of dandruff and PLAY with it all SRT

#2605 +(1589)- [X]

* dregan kicks Yamucha in the nuts
* dregan stamps on Yamucha's neck
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Yamucha
<dregan> Oh shit.

#2613 +(60)- [X]

<kyourek> KEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEE!!
<DrWoody> ... What?
<kyourek> Just practicing my karate.

#2615 +(11)- [X]

<fate-> right, people here aren't running a charity
<fate-> it's one big mental maturbation session

#2618 +(0)- [X]

*** QvtQht is now known as TomHanks
*** AMANDA is now known as MegRyan
<TomHanks> {S gotmail

#2632 +(10)- [X]

<spicrx7> if the sidewalks were paved with coks, i'd walk on my asshole

#2636 +(10)- [X]

<shervin> i have installed a Semen Control and Flood Restictor Waste System (SCFRWS) to control my ejaculations which land on the keyboard.. and drain it to the local public swimming pool

#2647 +(154)- [X]

<d1giPhux>  ME AND TYL0R WILL HIJACK ALL THEIR CAMELS
<sm0ke>  and crash them into tents

#2652 +(37)- [X]

<+Cypherus> what is a splash-screen?
<Nagaika> when your screen falls into the bathtub

#2657 +(5)- [X]

<Confuzion> ok all females: 1) Get in fron of webcam 2) take off shirt 3) focus on boobies 4) *click* 5) /dccsend confuzion boobie.jpg 6) repeat process for bottom portion of body. *note* do not mix up steps please follow corect order. thank you.

#2664 +(105)- [X]

<D\TOX> I just spent 20 min arguing with the manager at McDonalds that I gave him a $20 instead of the $10 they thought I gave them.  Finally he gives me a $10 back + change and I go home and find out it really was a $10 I gave them and I'm an asshole.
<D\TOX> I drove back and apologized and gave them back the $10 they gave me
<CoMBo> stick it to the man
<D\TOX> combo:  I have a fucking job, I don't need to lie at McDonalds to make money you lazy fucking raft nigger

#2667 +(114)- [X]

<eldee> uNF = universal noise of fucking
<BombScare> usually the only thing i hear when im fucking is "who the fuck are you"

#2681 +(17)- [X]

*** CSGpunk (CSGpunk@dialup-67.25.73.97.Dial1.Raleigh1.Level3.net) has joined #winprog
<CSGpunk> anyone live in raleigh, nc and know where i can get drugs

#2683 +(-3)- [X]

<PolestaR> nah you can survive short periods
<PolestaR> in space
<PolestaR> but its cold isnt it aswell
<PolestaR> I donno for sure

#2694 +(48)- [X]

(drmatitis) ya, i've graduated from the rockstar mullet to the NASCAR mullet

#2702 +(3)- [X]

(wd) there's like a whole dentist syndrome thing called "mountain dew mouth"
(wd) in which your teeth are just fugly

#2706 +(16)- [X]

(adm) No definitions found for "verio", perhaps you mean:
(adm) SUX

#2708 +(196)- [X]

(ashke) id like to take someone from the 1950s
(ashke) like some 15 year old kid
(ashke) and show him the internet
(ashke) "GOLLY GEE LOOK AT THAT DONKEY HAVE SEX WITH THAT LADY"

#2718 +(226)- [X]

<Furan> the only 2 types of women that don't bitch and moan are gifs and jpgs

#2723 +(43)- [X]

<CodeMason> You lack belief in all the thousands/hundreds of thousands of supreme beings that have been believed in at one point or another. So to them you are an atheist.
<Kyonshi> CM is sooo smart ^_^
<CodeMason> Kyo: It feels good to know my statements warrant an anime smilie face.

#2725 +(19)- [X]

* CanuckSaq screws with people's minds way too much
<mindrape> CanuckSaq: you must have a little weewee, cuz i didn't feel you were screwing mine :/
<CanuckSaq> mr: a) I have a gigantic cock, and b) you assume you actually possess a mind

#2730 +(69)- [X]

[xite] i hate movies with abrupt endings
[xmas_hate] ya i hate when i only download clips of porn too

#2732 +(78)- [X]

<im3t8> my last nightmare was of my computer trying to kill me
<Apathetic> really?
<im3t8> but in the end it was just the mouse
<Apathetic> maybe that's metaphoric for something
<Apathetic> :/
<im3t8> its a microsoft mouse
<im3t8> :/

#2738 +(39)- [X]

<ckx> xmas was fun back before i was blessed with pubes and still had hopes and dreams and such

#2743 +(10)- [X]

<doctor`> "hallo! i am reeecki marten! sex masheen! i love all the preeety gerls! lets us have secks! constantleee! i am south american sensation! bulging spaniard genitals!"

#2745 +(20)- [X]

<doctorb> i want a  microwavable dildo. i'm sick of the cold plastic.

#2752 +(22)- [X]

* aiel wonders why the load on his O2 has passed 3.0
<core> aiel: netscape ?
<xL> aiel: I told you VRML pr0n was a bad idea :)

#2755 +(63)- [X]

<Nick-spy> MY ROOSTER RAN AWAY! SOMEONE GRAB MY COCK!

#2760 +(55)- [X]

<evenpar123|Dean> how much is long distance?
<Slant> evenpar123|Dean: Depends on your carrier.
<evenpar123|Dean> Satan
<Slant> 666 cents a minute.

#2765 +(59)- [X]

<Waters> i had a dream about masterbating...thats sad isnt it :(

#2768 +(-18)- [X]

*** CHAOS_IS_BLISS (jfdkhglkfd@cdm-66-244-43-tylr.cox-internet.com) Quit (burghcom.fdfnet.net thealamo.fdfnet.net)
<nomis_nehc> whoa
<nomis_nehc> wtf, all those peepz off at the same time, or what's up?
<nomis_nehc> power outagae somewhere maybe?

#2771 +(69)- [X]

<Elfin> Santa Claus broke in through my window last night.
<Kashan> did he leave you a new window

#2774 +(25)- [X]

*** Amanda sets mode: -s
<DAL9000> i feel naked now.

#2778 +(80)- [X]

<schwack> if there's one thing i hate its everything

#2780 +(18)- [X]

*** loopback was kicked by GoodScrat (GoodScrat)
*** loopback (~boh@ppp-134-252.29-151.libero.it) has joined #winprog
<loopback> GoodScrat, why did you kick me?
<GoodScrat> I didn't mean to, I was clicking on something and my computer froze fora  second and then caught up to all the clicks and kicked you
<loopback> oh, ok

#2789 +(91)- [X]

<brucet> i pay for my internet access - i pay you to HELP me .. so someone better start to tell me how to do it or i'm going to complain about you to my ISP
<brucet> HAHA - you wont call me a lamer when u get sacked by the ISP - i have just wrote an e-mail to them now explaining that you wont help!!

#2792 +(83)- [X]

<pupkick> 37?
<devinfo> i heard 37 is any 3 digit multiple of 37, when the digits are cyclicly permutated is still divisible by 37, ie: 37*13 = 481, 148/37 = 4, 37*11 = 407, 740/37 = 20, or oddly enough, this works in other bases too... 0x37 * 0x19 = 0x55F. 0xF55 / 0x37 = 0x47, or you sucked 37 dicks?

#2794 +(37)- [X]

<Viscant> I am proud of having an average sized penis.
<Viscant> Little Viscant is 6 3/4 and proud.
<Hentai007> i thought 7 was average
<tragic> viscant "average" you realize there are 1 billion chinese people
<Viscant> tragic: Damn them.

#2796 +(98)- [X]

(pvah) i wonder how funny airport security would think it would be if you walked into an airport with a cardboard box that said "BOMB" on it

#2805 +(15)- [X]

<LrdZombie> So last night my sister comes in and wants to borrow a dvd.  She goes "What do you have that I'd like?" and i go, "Well, I got Goonies, Dark Crystal, and Adventures of Baron Munchausen."  She goes "I just saw goonies.  Which is better, dark crystal or baron munchausen?"
<_Shorty> haha
<LrdZombie> "Do you want to sleep tonight?"  "Yes."  *hands her baron munchausen.*
<blazemore> tsk tsk.. laughing before the punch line

#2812 +(44)- [X]

<shervin> Am I the only one that thinks Leela, the girl on Futurama, would be really hot if she had 2 eyes?
<shervin> i'd bone her if she wore sunglasses

#2819 +(29)- [X]

<neck> i no longer wear tshirts
<neck> oh, wtf am i talking about, i have on on as i speak

#2823 +(13)- [X]

<ThaDragon> =) (=
<ThaDragon> =* *=
<ThaDragon> =**=
<ThaDragon> *ziiiip*
<ThaDragon> =) o=u=8 O=<
<ThaDragon> *SLAP*
<ThaDragon> =/ `o=u=8
<ThaDragon> Thats the story of a man and a woman on the first date.
<ThaDragon> =P

#2830 +(96)- [X]

*** bigdick (happy@12-232-82-116.client.attbi.com) has joined #cars
*** BigCunt is now known as RaMTuFF
* bigdick slides into BigCunt
*** bigdick (happy@12-232-82-116.client.attbi.com) has left #cars
<shaan> well that doesnt happen everyday

#2832 +(234)- [X]

-Global- [Logon News - Dec 29 2001] Welcome to Evolnet!  Where the men are men, the women are men, and the boys are fbi agents.  but some of the men are really women.  Enjoy!

#2835 +(13)- [X]

<MrP-> people say my ass is just like a girls
<MrP-> and my tits are to die for!

#2839 +(114)- [X]

<drBoston> DGMage : asl
<DGMage> You seriously need a new pickup line.
<drBoston> never
<drBoston> you don't fuck with perfection

#2844 +(3)- [X]

*** Nilx (~r@t1o19p47.telia.com) has joined channel #unixhelp
<Nilx> are there any webpages which are allowed to get hacked?
<Nilx> HELP

#2854 +(102)- [X]

<Strafer> If you get collisions on a wireless LAN, do you see sparks in mid-air?

#2856 +(-17)- [X]

<shervin> do you ever have those days where you dont take a crap, so you fart a lot, and your farts kinda smell good?

#2858 +(98)- [X]

* semi realises that  my videocard is better then MrP-'s old computer
<MrP-> hell, i masturbate at a higher frequency than my old pc

#2861 +(1)- [X]

[23:03] <`Jamesy> i am a raging homosexual.
[23:03] <`Jamesy> i am a raging homosexual.
[23:03] <`Jamesy> i am a raging homosexual.
[23:03] <`Jamesy> i am a raging homosexual.
[23:03] <exploding_elf> watch it `Jamesy, keep your fluids to yourself and dont flood

#2868 +(15)- [X]

<shervin> DMC talks shit like no other and yet hes OP
<Gethoht> OP?
<Gethoht> oh, op
<Gethoht> i thought you meant "original playa" or somethin

#2871 +(114)- [X]

[incorrect] no, we're all using pens, paper and carrier pidgeons
[incorrect] actually, maybe that's what PPP stands for

#2877 +(155)- [X]

<AlmtyBob> Groups such as Cyberangels and Pedowatch have picked up the slack by enlisting thousands of volunteers across the globe to scan the Internet for lurid images of children.
<AlmtyBob> wow
<AlmtyBob> sounds like my kind of job
<AlmtyBob> and to think, I'm doing it for free as we speak

#2880 +(22)- [X]

<Avi> is this divx ??????????????? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ???????????? !!!!!!!!!!!!!! <-- thats how people are now'a'days
<Lord-Data> Avi: its always been that way
<Lord-Data> just faster cpu's means they type more bullshit

#2882 +(-15)- [X]

<kisama> man, i am rocking to this backstreet boys shit

#2887 +(86)- [X]

<McMoo> those presents are wrapped like motherfuckers.
<McMoo> like very thoroughly wrapped motherfuckers.

#2889 +(75)- [X]

<Berzerker> Life is hard.
<Berzerker> unfortunately, you arent.
<Berzerker> call the national impotency hotline. 1-800-GET-BONE

#2893 +(99)- [X]

<Berzerker> i shit too big
<Berzerker> i clog up the toilet without using toilet paper
<Berzerker> my parents think i use too much
<Berzerker> and im starting to get in trouble for doing it
<Berzerker> i dont wanna tell them "i shit big, sorry"

#2897 +(-5)- [X]

<Pyre> Gumby's mom is hot

#2899 +(13)- [X]

*** hypr changes topic to '.'
<LkChaCha1> Ahh. . .hypr had his period. Must be that time of month.

#2903 +(-27)- [X]

<Berzerk0r> eD farted and it smelt like bvaD

#2905 +(37)- [X]

<BRASIL> IN MY COUNTRY TOO HOT TO GO OUTSIDE
<BRASIL> SO I SURF NET INSTEAD

#2907 +(36)- [X]

<Berzerker> hey
<Berzerker> you hear about the new game they play at the white house?
<Berzerker> swallow the leader.

#2909 +(0)- [X]

<blazemore> i saw a big crack in front of me, then this flash of light.. after that, i can't remember anything.

#2911 +(152)- [X]

* Berzerker gets hungry 
* Berzerker eats his e's 
*** Berzerker is now known as Brzrkr

#2913 +(16)- [X]

<Berzerker> what are you goign to pick? 
<ding> HAWT PAWKETS

#2916 +(236)- [X]

<{SaTaN}> GOD DAMN IT SUN OF A BITCH STOP CALLING ME SANTA IT IS "SATAN!!!!!!!!!!!!" 
<DaRkShaMe> hi santa

#2922 +(-2)- [X]

<Snag> on another note
<Snag> you know any fake tan shit i can buy?
<eldee> fake tan shit?
<eldee> wtf?
<Snag> ya
<Snag> i have supah white arms
<eldee> go to a tanning booth, give the bitch 5 bux and stick your arm in the pipe dude

#2925 +(58)- [X]

<Slant> evenpar123: What's up dog, word?
<evenpar123> dog?
<evenpar123> That's my slave name.  My new name is "dogg"

#2928 +(90)- [X]

<Kazz> Everybody kept screeching "DON'T DO IT LOOK AT ALL YOU'VE GOT TO LIVE FOR" and he was like "no im gona do it" and I said "How?" and he said "Knife through the heart" and I was like "Wicked.  Send pics."
<Sharkey> My favorite one was back in #verge years ago. Finally after I ribbed her for about an hour she said that she'd slashed her wrists because of me. I asked her if she was typing with her tongue.
<Kazz> I suggested he fall on a chainsaw.  He liked the messiness.

#2930 +(83)- [X]

<Muskratt> How can people like you guys survive infancy without bursting into flames from some major god (I don't care who) 's anger?
<MightyQuinn> easy
<MightyQuinn> we carry fire extinguishers

#2933 +(-11)- [X]

<eldee> welp, i got some coding to do.. smell ya later
<eldee> Aimee: for you that's a literal statement

#2935 +(61)- [X]

<Object> booya my roommate, got in a fight last week.. this week, booya was starting a new job .. he gets in and finds out his new boss is the guy he fought last week, we thought it was pretty funny

#2938 +(131)- [X]

<BlackDeth> man this sucks
<BlackDeth> why is it that all drugs make you lazy and useless
<BlackDeth> they should invent one that motivates you to do homework and shit

#2941 +(20)- [X]

<BlackDeth> the only effect cocaine really has is it makes you want more cocaine :D

#2949 +(26)- [X]

<al-x> pam anderson had implants
<al-x> had them taken out
<al-x> just had them put back in
<al-x> she proly has zippers
<al-x> under her arms
<al-x> or somethign

#2954 +(41)- [X]

<dregan> EGADS THE PAIN
<dregan> THE BITING, GNAWING PAIN
<dregan> THE SEARING, UNENDING.. UN.. mmm..

#2956 +(36)- [X]

<blazemore> my chair is starting to smell bad from me farting in it so much
<blazemore> either that or it's the underwear i've been wearing for 4 days

#2958 +(35)- [X]

<datz510> u prolly race grandmas goin tot he grocery store too huh
<BenK> no
<BenK> I race hardcore racers
<BenK> people with tinted windows
<BenK> and 20 inch rims
<datz510> Ben.. like other hondas?

#2960 +(135)- [X]

<waterfire> All women are gay, or at least that's what they tell me

#2963 +(46)- [X]

<MrSede> They made a movie of Phantom Of The Opera. I was like "woah, they made a movie of Phantom Of The Opera." Then I didn't watch it
<Geothermal> you too eh

#2966 +(13)- [X]

<FMJaguar> good, we don't have time for elitists here
* FMJaguar > all of you

#2973 +(96)- [X]

<Xta-C> i really need a gf
<Xta-C> ROFL
<Xta-C> gf3 even
<Xta-C> but yeah, a gf would be nice

#2987 +(27)- [X]

(Matt^^^) fenrir's gf is a quad processor solaris box

#2991 +(24)- [X]

<Lord-Data> chmod 777 is the kinda thing i do on my own personal box when i cant be fucked figureing out what the perm's SHOULD be
<Lord-Data> which is, sadly, most of the time

#2994 +(0)- [X]

(phibor) im writing a windows based system called NegrOS
(evulanjal) lol
(qdial) that sounds ghetto
(qdial) what will it do?
(phibor) nothing, just like true niggers.
(nexxai) HAHAHAHAHAHA
(phibor) you give it a job and it will fuck it up..then it will smoke your weed and fuck your girlfriend too

#2998 +(122)- [X]

<dboo> shit...i can hear the cat masturbating again

#3000 +(-1)- [X]

*** madwoota changes topic to 'Synoptica needs a dick slapped against his forehead.'
<incorrect> that an offer woota?

#3004 +(0)- [X]

<ChunLi> my friend works at a hospital and said this guy came in with an aspargaus stuck up his ass =)

#3010 +(134)- [X]

<Valdrak> SuperMan is a virgin
<Wind-X> no way superman is a virgin...
<Wind-X> dude grew up on a FARM.

#3014 +(95)- [X]

{[FoF]}Draegos: no, I dont jerk off
{[FoF]}Draegos: i never jacked off and never will
xceptional: your nuts must be the size of bean bag chairs

#3019 +(159)- [X]

<yossarian> theres a hole in my bucket
<tomg> yossarian: did microsoft make it?
<yossarian> yes, MSBucket
<tomg> have they made a patch for it yet?
<tomg> no, they probably want you to upgrade to Bucket.NET
<yossarian> with what shall i fix it dear microsoft, dear microsoft?
<tomg> well the CBR (common bucket runtime) will have embedded security to prevent leaks

#3022 +(35)- [X]

[00:12:10] *** ApathyGod changes topic to 'What sucks about real life is that if you walk into a sorority and type su, nothing happens'

#3027 +(62)- [X]

<@MF_Nazi> I bet Rob wants to date a girl named Rob so he can scream his own name during sex

#3038 +(24)- [X]

<Javi> irc is like a cigarette
<Javi> you know it's bad for you
<Javi> but you just can't stop

#3040 +(9)- [X]

quits SuB-RiC (M@h24-66-38-29.wp.shawcable.net) (I am short" is Womanese for, "I am fat)

#3043 +(10)- [X]

<Jumper> there's an old saying in this part of ze world: you're not a real geek until you've scored sex through IRC
<Jumper> irl sex, that is
<smiler> Jumper: We figured =)
<smiler> Jumper: can you even say you scored if you get cybersex?
<smiler> Jumper: That would be a REAL geek.
<Jumper> smiler: that would just be a looser

#3046 +(7)- [X]

<tomg> er I have no comment on this.
<tomg> :P
<Jumper> tomg: afraid of being quoted ? :P
<tomg> no, I'm afraid my mum will find the quotes :P

#3053 +(62)- [X]

<Boba> You know who should get in the NBA? Mini-Me.
<collusion> yeah, and he should play center right?
<Boba> No...he's obviously a power forward. Are you sure you watch basketball?

#3061 +(60)- [X]

<MadScribe> i WILL NEVER EVER live below someone again
<MadScribe> he is apparently redoing the fucking floor
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* pause
<MadScribe> for the last fucking hour
<MadScribe> geezus
<toNe> you sure he's not just fucking his wife?

#3065 +(241)- [X]

<putnam> i got a speech from my latin teacher about how in europe its commonplace for men to cry
<putnam> and crying is so special
<putnam> i asked her if she wanted me to cry for her and she said no, stop being a pussy this is america

#3067 +(34)- [X]

<LuMpY> i got an OC48 and 32 linux servers doing nothing on 1000Mb lan
<putnam> oh yeah bitch, well i got OC49 and 33 linux servers doing everything on a 5000Mb lan

#3074 +(-5)- [X]

<Keyman> dam I just lost 128k on my upstream!
<Jumper> damn, same here, now I can only download that CD in 3.04secs instead of 3.0400000001

#3076 +(166)- [X]

<foolsCAP> how much is an abortion? i want to get my girlfriend a gift certificate for one for valentines day

#3078 +(116)- [X]

*** Now talking in #catholic
<shervin> where can I download "Catholic School Girls Gone Wild VII" and "Guide to Successfully Raping Nun's 2002 Edition"?

#3089 +(28)- [X]

<[ric]> are you going to start wearing clothes after the court case?

#3098 +(41)- [X]

<snag> <@Mir> I wonder what it would be like to fuck in space... in 0-gee
<snag> you need to fuck first
<snag> then you can be picky

#3100 +(92)- [X]

<Ecntrcjrk> Eating babies is like eating Veal.
<Ecntrcjrk> Only..... babies.

#3102 +(37)- [X]

<duk0r> Vegetable oil is made out of vegetables. Olive oil is made out of olives. So what the fuck is baby oil made out of?

#3106 +(39)- [X]

<Maxstah> GOD what i'd do for gwen (stefani) to just kiss the tip of my cock
<Javi> you'd blow me?
<Maxstah> javi i'd swallow
<Maxstah> i'm comfortable with my hentrosexuality
<Maxstah> long as i have a coke to chase it down with

#3111 +(389)- [X]

(Brodie) If I go see a doctor and tell him I can't maintain an erection, will he give me Viagra?
(Brodie) I need viagra for my paln
(Samadhi) He may check you though
(Samadhi) Like give you a HJ to make sure you're telling the truth
(Brodie) Sweet
(Brodie) This is win win

#3118 +(0)- [X]

<Orange1> why won't openbsd recognize my usb floppy drive?
<Orange1> it starts booting, but then can't find itself

#3130 +(50)- [X]

<berly> *puh*  You can call me anything you want!
<Joshua> aww... i'll try not to abuse that, sex-kitten
<Joshua> i like that sentence better without punctuation...

#3134 +(332)- [X]